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The Vintage Contessa

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LET’S GIRL CHAT

October 17, 2022 113 Comments

 

 WOMEN OVER 50 LETS HAVE A DISCUSSION.

WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH YOU?

ANYTHING MY READERS CAN HELP YOU WITH?

WE HAVE COVERED BLADDER CONTROL IN THE PAST WHAT ELSE NEEDS TO BE COVERED?

 

  LET’S CHAT ABOUT MY LIST BELOW!

1.LOSS OF EYE VISION

2.LACK OF SLEEP

3.FAMILY NOT CHECKING IN

  4.LACK OF KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS IN ALL NEW AREAS OF LIFE

5.NEIGHBORS WHO ANNOY YOU

6.COST OF MEDICATION

7. PEOPLE WHO JUST DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH…

8.HUSBAND DRIVING YOU CRAZY NOW THAT HE IS RETIRED

( NOT MY PROBLEM YET!)

9.CLOTHING……..

THE STAGE WHEN YOU REALIZE YOU CANNOT WEAR THINGS YOU LOVE ANYMORE!

 TO ME IT SEEMS LIKE THINGS ARE GOING DOWN HILL AWFULLY FAST……….

 AGAIN I HAVE NOT FELT WELL FOR YEARS NOW AND THE PANDEMIC DID NOT HELP.

 WHEN WE DO NOT FEEL WELL WE TEND TO BECOME VERY NEGATIVE; I HAVE NOTICED.

 OR VERY OPINIONATED IN MY CASE!

  SO NOW I UNDERSTAND WHERE MY PARENTS WERE COMING FROM……..

IT ONLY TOOK  ME 62 YEARS TO REALIZE THIS AS I SEE MYSELF IN THEM MORE AND MORE!

OH I SO GET IT NOW!

  1.MY EYES CANNOT WEAR READERS………BUT YET I HAVE TO WEAR EYEWEAR FOR DISTANCE.

YET WHEN I LOOK DOWN AT A BOOK OR MAGAZINE ITS BLURRY SOMETIMES!

 THIS I NOW FEEL IS THE HEAVY EYELID SYNDROME CALLED…………..PTOSIS.

I HAVE A VIST TO THE EYE DOCTOR SOON.

 I FIND WHEN I LIFT MY EYELID WITH MY FINGER THE SIGHT GETS BETTER!

 

2.THAT SLEEP PROBLEM COMES AND GOES WITH ME!

MOST OF THE TIME I CAN SLEEP WELL…….I TAKE ENOUGH MEDICATIONS TO KNOCK A FOOTBALL TEAM OUT,

BUT SOMEDAYS I NEED TO RISE AND GO PEE AT 3 AM………

ALWAYS 3:00 AM!

MY LATEST METHOD OF GOOD SLEEP BESIDES THE DRUGS THAT ARE NOT MEANT FOR SLEEP!

ARE WEIGHTED EYE SHADES I FOUND AT CVS FOR $15.00.

NOT ONLY DO THEY KEEP THE MOONLIGHT OUT; THEY PUT WEIGHT ON MY SINUS WHICH HAPPENS TO BE A GOOD THING FOR ME!

I WAKE UP BREATHING!

NOT IN PAIN LIKE I HAVE BEEN FOR YEARS AND COMPLETELY STUFFED NOSE!

 I NO LONGER HAVE TO MASSAGE THE CHEEK AREA TO GET THE FLOW MOVING!

I THEN USE PILLOW NUMBER TWO WHICH IS A KING PILLOW AND PLACE OVER MY HEAD!

TO HELP WITH LESS

LIGHT ENTERING AND HELPS A LOT WITH SOUNDS………

   I CAN HEAR A PIN DROP OR THEODORE COMING IN THE DOGGIE DOOR!

  THE PILLOW CUTS DOWN ON THESE UNNECESSARY SOUNDS THAT I DO NOT NEED TO HEAR!

 JUST IN CASE THE BOOGIE MAN COMES THROUGH;

THE PIGGY AND THE DOGGY WILL ANNOUNCE HIS ARRIVAL AND HE WILL DO A BIG U-TURN!

 THAT WILL GET MY ATTENTION!

 MY HEARING IS STILL A GOOD FUNCTIONING PART OF MY BODY!

 

3. MOST OF US I ASSUME ARE EMPTY NESTERS MEANING OUR OFF SPRING HAVE SPRUNG OUT OF THE NEST!

 DO YOU STAY IN TOUCH OR LET THEM CHECK IN WHEN IT SUITS THEIR NEEDS?

 I USE TO CALL TO CHECK IN…………THEN I USE TO TEXT AND SEND FUN PHOTOS OF THE ANIMALS.

 THOSE SOMETIMES GET LEFT UNANSWERED OR NO RESPONSE.

I KNOW THEY ARE BUSY LIVING/ WORKING IN LIFE………….I JUST WANT TO STLL BE A PART OF THEIR LIFE!

 BOTTOM LINE I HAVE DONE MY PART AS A MOTHER AND NOW ITS UP TO THEM.

 THAT IS WHY ANIMALS IN THE HOME PLAY SUCH AN IMPORTANT PART OF OUR LIFE NOW AND ALWAYS!

 I KNOW THEY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING I AM SAYING ESPECIALLY WHEN I RING THAT OLD KITCHEN BELL ANNOUNCING ITS DINNER TIME!

THEIR SECOND DINNER OF THE NIGHT!

  THIS IS MY CHAIR NOW MOTHER!

    TIME FOR A PEDICURE BETTY!

 HI MOM!

 I’M SMILING FOR THE CAMERA!

 THAT LONG TOOTH IS AN UPPER TOOTH AND CANNOT BE CUT!

4.I STARTED THIS BLOG TO SELL MY WARES AT MY ANTIQUE SHOP.

IT TURNED ITS SELF INTO A PLACE WHERE I COULD TALK ABOUT ME AND TAKE PHOTOS!I LOVE TAKING PHOTOS!THINK I HAVE MENTIONED THAT BEFORE HERE.IT’S THE CREATIVE PART THAT GETS MY ATTENTION.

THEATRICS SHOULD AND COULD HAVE BEEN MY LIFE OR STYLING A STAGE SET.

Never A REAL PERSON.I CAN STYLE MYSELF WITHIN MINUTES BUT NOT ANOTHER PERSON!

I WAS A PERSONAL SHOPPER FOR NORDSTROMS AND BELIEVE YOU ME THAT WAS NOT A FUN NOR AN EASY JOB!

I DID THE BLOG TO KEEP UP WITH THE TIMES AS WELL AS FACEBOOK WHICH I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT ADORE AND INSTAGRAM WHICH I HAVE BEEN ON FOR 12 YEARS AND LOVED; BUT AM NOT SO IN LOVE AS BEFORE FACEBOOK BOUGHT THEM!

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE ABOUT MAKING MONEY?

AND CHANGING WHAT THEY JUST BOUGHT!

I LOVED FOLLOWING PEOLPE WHO HAD THE SAME INTERESTS AND GARDENS IN DISTANT LANDS.

I COULD EASILY HAVE TAUGHT A FRIEND HOW TO USE INSTAGRAM TWELVE YEARS AGO WHEN I STARTED, BUT NOW FORGET IT!I EVEN HAVE TROUBLE NAVIGATING IT AND I HAVE YET TO MAKE A REEL!

INSTAGRAM STARTED ON OCTOBER 6, 2010.JUST THOUGHT I WOULD TOSS THAT OUT!DOESN’T SEEM THAT LONG AGO DOES IT INSTAGRAMMERS!

HOW ABOUT RESTAURANTS WHERE THEY GIVE YOU A BEEPER TO GO GET YOUR FOOD?

OR SELF CHECK OUT TO PAY FOR YOUR GROCERIES, BUT STILL HAVE AN EMPLOYEE THERE TO MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT NEED HELP!

HOW ABOUT THESE PARKING METERS WHERE YOU NEED TO HAVE THE GOD DAM APP ON YOUR PHONE!

HOW MANY APPS DO WE REALLY NEED?

OR NOW WHERE YOU LAY THE CREDIT CARD ON THE CARD MACHINE INSTEAD OF INSERTING OR SWIPING!

WHICH BY THE WAY BETWEEN MY ITALIAN AND ME OUR CARDS ARE HACKED TOO OFTEN FOR COMFORT.

JUST A HASSLE IF YOU HAVE BILLS OR MEDS ON AUTOMATIC PAYMENT.

HOW ABOUT GETTING A REAL HUMAN BEING ON THE PHONE?

I COULD GO ON AND ON…………..

 5. NEIGHBORHOODS HAVE CHANGED DRASTICALLY SINCE I WAS A KID!

AGAIN, I HAVE MENTIONED THIS BEFORE BUT WE HAVE LIVED ON THIS STREET NOW FOR 28 YEARS.WHEN WE MOVED HERE NO ONE SPOKE TO THEIR NEIGHBORS!

THE ITALIAN AND I BROUGHT THE NEIGHBORHOOD TOGETHER ALONG WITH A FEW OTHERS AND NEW HOME OWNERS WHO HAD SMALL CHILDREN.

WE ARE LUCKY AS IT IS A DEAD END STREET.A CUL-DE-SAC.WONERFUL FOR BIKE RIDING AND KICK THE CAN GAMES.

OLDER RESIDENTS LOVED THE NEW ENERGY ON THE STREET.

THOSE OLDER PEOPLE ARE NOW GONE AND WE HAVE RE-PLACED THEM!

I ENDED UP BEING THE SCHOOL MOM WHO WOULD DRIVE THE KIDS MOST OF THEM TO SCHOOL IN MY BIG OLD STATION WAGON.A MERCURY……….REMEMBER THOSE?THE ITALIAN THOUGHT THAT WAS THE “CATS MEOW” AS ITALY DIDNOT HAVE BIG CARS EVER………….

OUR KIDS GREW UP AND WENT TO COLLEGE AND NEVER CAME BACK!

 OUR NEIGHBORS REMAIN INSIDE MORE AND MORE.

THE OLDER THEY BECOME THE GROUCHIER THEY BECOME TOO…….

MOST OF MY NEIGHBORS HAVE NAMES GIVEN TO THEM BY OUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR OR US!THEY NAMED ONE FAMILY THE ANALS……………I KID YOU NOT!THEY ACTUALLY ARE THE TYPE CONSTANTLY CLEANING AND CLEARING.

THEY ACTUALLY HAVE NOT SPOKEN TO US FOR YEARS AS THEY THOUGHT OUR DOG WAS POOPING IN THEIR DRIVEWAY!

COME TO FIND OUT IT WAS ANOTHER’S NEIGHBORS DOG!

WELL THEY STILL DONOT SPEAK TO US AFTER HAVING THEIR BACKYARD DONE BY PROFESSIONALS AND THE DRAIN DIDNOT HAVE A GRATE PUT UPON IT.OUR BACKYARDS SERVES AS A CREEK WHEN AND IF THAT WATER FLOWED!WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT THE BACK- UP OF LEAVES AND BRANCHES THAT WOULD CLOG IT AND THE BACK UP IT WOULD CAUSE………..A REAL WORRY AS JUST A FEW HUNDRED METERS DOWN A REFRIGERATOR AND A DEER CORPSE CLOGGED UP THE CULVERT WHICH CAUSED FLOODING IN THE YEAR 2000.REMEMBER WHEN I WAS TOLD TO GET OUT OF THEIR CHICKEN COOP BY THE FIREMAN AS IT COULD BE A FLASH FLOOD AND I SAID, “NOT UNTIL YOU TAKE A CHICKEN!”TO A FIREMAN…………WE ENDED UP PUTTING THEM IN AN OLD GARBAGE BIN THAT HELD THEIR FOOD TO TRANSPORT THEM!IIT WAS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT AND WAS ONE OF MY MORE HEROIC EFFORTS……..DID I EVER GET A THANK YOU?

NOPE!

THE LAST TWO FAMILIES THAT MOVED ONTO THE COURT HAVE NEVER BEEN SEEN!

A VERY BIZARRE GENERATION.

THEY TOO HAD CHILDREN WHO GREW UP HERE AND NEVER ONCE CAME TRICK OR TREATING TO OUR HOME.

 I WOULD NOT EVEN KNOW THEM IF I PASSED THEM ON THE STREET!

LET ALONE THEIR NAMES!

THEN WE HAVE THE BUFFERS!

NAMED BY THE ITALIAN AS THEY ARE ALWAYS READY TO STEP IN!

NEIGHBORS ARE IMPORTANT!

YOU EITHER LUCK OUT OR LOSE OUT BIG TIME…………..WHICH I FIND SO SAD.

 

6. MEDICATIONS.

I WAS ON A DRUG FOR 20 YEARS………….

MY INSURANCE ALLOWED ME TO PAY I THINK 10.OO AT MOST.

MY GRAND DOG IS NOW ON THAT SAME MEDICATION AND I PAID $150.00 FOR A MONTHS SUPPLY!

 I FIND THAT HIGHWAY ROBBERY………ITS ONLY BEEN THREE YEARS SINCE I WENT OFF IT!

 PER MY REQUEST; AS I THOUGHT IT WAS THE CAUSE FOR MAKING ME SO DROWSY!

  MY PROBLEM NOW IS GETTING MY MEDICATION NOW ON A TIMELY BASIS.

 

WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SLOW FOOD AND SLOW LIVING CONCEPT THAT WAS BIG ABOUT 12 YEARS AGO?

 I FEEL THAT HAS FADED AWAY………..

 7.PEOPLE WHO DO NOT FOLLOW THROUGH!

 I COULD WRITE A WHOLE ESSAY ON THAT AND THE REASONS AND THE SOCIAL GRACES OF WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED!BUT I WILL NOT RANT ON AS YOU EITHER UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT OR YOU DO NOT HAVE THIS IN YOUR LIFE!

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE A STORY IN THE COMMENTS……….IF YOU CAN RELATE!

 8.RETIRED SPOUSE!

 THAT ISNOT A PROBLEM I HAVE NOR WILL EVER HAVE AS THE ITALIAN IS NOT ONE TO STOP WORKING SOON.

UNLESS SOMETHING PHYSICAL WERE TO HAPPEN.

EVEN THEN I THINK HE WOULD FIGURE OUT A WAY TO CONTINUE ON!

 9. CLOTHING A “LOVE STORY” THAT CAN NOT BE ANYMORE.

DUE TO SAGGING THIS OR BAD LEGS OR SAGGING UNDER ARMS.

  OR WHATEVER HAS CHANGED OVER TIME.

1.THE WAIST

2.THE BUST

  3.THE HEIGHT

  IT IS A CONTINUING ORDEAL FOR MOST!

MY MOST HORRIFYING MOMENT AFTER THE BIG HAIR LOSS AT 56 WAS THE WRINKLES IN THE ENTIRE ARM!

IF I HOLD UP MY ARMS ABOVE MY HEAD IN BED OR TO PUT LOTION ON AFTER A SHOWER EVERY INCH OF SKIN IS SHRIVELED.

WHY DID I THINK THIS ALL WOULD COME SO MUCH LATER IN LIFE?

  XXX

  THIS FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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113 Comments

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  • Barb
    · Reply

    November 5, 2022 at 11:02 AM

    One shock, many years ago, came while I was working with my personal trainer. I was on my back with my feet up in the air and realized that my toes were wrinkled! When did that happen!?!?!? Childhood days seemed so much simpler and carefree – and safer. Perhaps because the planet had half the number of people that it has now? It saddens me that the clothes I love no longer fit. Your observations are the same as many of mine. Time is interesting – both rewarding and punishing alike.

  • mumbai
    · Reply

    October 23, 2022 at 3:10 AM

    didn’t use the correct meaning for “whoopy” forget it. Mean rather crazy.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 23, 2022 at 6:11 AM

      OKAY!THANKS FOR THE COMMENT!
      XXX

  • Carole E Walker
    · Reply

    October 23, 2022 at 12:22 AM

    I tried to send a comment last night but it did not come up. I will try again later today.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 23, 2022 at 6:12 AM

      IT”S HERE………I JUST HAD TO APROVE IT FOR SOME ODD REASON!
      THANK YOU!
      XXX

  • Carole E Walker
    · Reply

    October 23, 2022 at 12:14 AM

    I think, dear Contessa, that you have covered just about all the bases. Two things I would add would be invisibility and loneliness as we age. I had three close long time friends in my apartment building. One I talked with every day around 11:00 a.m. We liked to check that each was still breathing! A second one I talked with almost daily. The third at least once a week. The latter two died earlier this year within four weeks of each other. The former moved two months later to a care facility out of state. We were all always there for each other and within a few months they were gone. On the other side of town, I lost one friend to an out of state move late last year, and another friend died. two months ago. A friend in another state tells me she has no one close whose name she can put down on medical and various other forms as someone to contact in case of an emergency. I was shocked to realize that I could soon be in a similar situation. Loneliness crosses all age groups, but it is particularly hard on the elderly. It is easy to keep busy but difficult to find new friends with whom you have something in common. There must be women out there in similar situations who live near to me in Los Angeles. They may not want a lot of in-person social connection due to health, mobility, or financial reasons, but who would enjoy communicating socially by telephone or email and be available to reciprocate in emergencies. Does anyone have any suggestions? Contessa, might this warrant another of your wonderful articles?

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 23, 2022 at 6:29 AM

      OH CAROLE!!
      YES A VERY GOOD IDEA!
      I AM LIVING THROUGH THAT NOW WITH MY STEP MOTHER!
      SHE IS 88 AND STILL VERY MUCH WITH IT!PEOPLE ALL AROUND HER ARE DYING……
      THE LATEST IS HER HAIRDRESSER!
      WHICH CAME OUT “FUNNY” IN OUR PHONE CONVERSATION NOT THAT DYING IS FUNNY!IT WAS THE WAY IN WHICH SHE HAD SAID IT………..
      SHE WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING TO AN ANNUAL ANTIQUE SHOW WHICH OF COURSE SHE HAS NOT BEEN TO IN THE LAST THREE YEARS………..
      LONG STORY SHORT HER PROBLEM OF THE DAY WAS GETTING THE HAIR WASHED!SHE ENDED UP DOING IT HERSELF AND I TOLD HER I HAD NEVER SEEN HER HAIR THAT LONG AND LOVED IT!
      SHE ARRIVED AT THE SHOW WITH SWEAT PANTS AND A GUCCI LEATHER BOMBER JACKET AND SHOULDER LENGTH (ALMOST) HAIR!!
      THE SWEATPANTS THIN OF COURSE BECAUSE SHE HAS GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT OVER THE PAST FEW YEARS DUE TO COVID!SHE WAS A KNOCK OUT!
      ANYWAY OFF TRACK I WENT BUT SHE WALKS HER DOG EVERY DAY AND HAS MET SOME LOVELY PEOPLE BY DOING SO……….THEY CAME WITH HER.
      I ON THE OTHER HAND AM NOW RECEIVING A TEXT DAILY FROM A 75 YEAR OLD ON MY STREET WHO LIVES ALONE WITH TWO SMALL DOGS.JUST SO SHE KNOWS SOMEONE WOULD CHECK ON HER IF THERE WAS NO ANSWER……AND FEED THE DOGS!
      YOUR CHECKING IN AT A CERTAIN TIME OF THE DAY IS VERY HELPFUL TO EACH OTHER…………
      LETS START A PHONE CIRCLE…….WHAT DID WE CALL THAT GAME AS CHILDREN?
      “TELEPHONE?”
      OR EMAIL TO CREATE FRIENDS AND CHECK IN’S!!
      BRILLIANT IDEA!
      I’M ON IT!!
      XXXX

      • Carole E Walker
        · Reply

        October 24, 2022 at 10:46 PM

        Contessa, I’m thrilled you are ON IT!! I have not been able to come up with a solution, but I know there must be one. Any thoughts and comments you have and, possibly, your followers, will be most appreciated.

        Thank you.
        Carole

  • Hilda Smith
    · Reply

    October 22, 2022 at 11:45 AM

    Oh ageing can be dismal especially with health problems. But you are so positive and I love that you find joy in so much….hubby..friends animals blog….
    I have been trying out an amazing medical device.. I will be writing about it soon. It has really helped my urge incontinence. I no longer run from the front door to the loo…. and I often did not make it. It is expensive however.. anyway will tell you all soon. Hugs to you Elizabeth.. you are FABULOUS. X

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 23, 2022 at 6:32 AM

      FABULOUS!!!
      HA……………YOU ARE SO KIND!
      NOW THIS SOUNDS INTERESTING!!!
      CAN’T WAIT AND I WILL SHARE OF COURSE IF IT’S OVER HERE IN THE USA!
      MY PROBLEM NOW IS I FEEL I NEED TO GO AND THREE LITTLE DRIPS FALL OUT!
      DRIVES ME MAD!
      XXX

  • Mumbai
    · Reply

    October 22, 2022 at 10:34 AM

    Oh God, at 76 I don’t worry why, where, etc. Just accept it, enjoy it and make the best of it. Although slim, looking 10 years younger (at least that’s what most people say) I of course have this little problems and like you, I can understand my mother better and better today. …..Your necklace, the glasses….so chic and your cheeky, sexy smile. I can fully agree with point 4 regarding digital problems, but it has nothing to do with age. Children need wings and their parents too. Let them fly. Point 5….give only from the heart and never expect anything. Point 6 Times change Point 7 I understand what you mean. I miss that too.
    Point 8. Be happy that your husband is so active and healthy. Point 9. Accept as it is, otherwise you’ll make yourself whoopy . But you don’t have to go sleeveless for a walk and, last but not least, you have different values ??in old age that count and make up what it is to be human. …..You think too much about many things, stop it and be happy, you have every reason to and your ailments will also stop. Promised. As always all the best!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 23, 2022 at 6:43 AM

      YOU MIS~ UNDERSTOOD ME I THINK AS DID A FEW OTHERS………..
      I AM TALKING ABOUT HOW IT ALL “CHANGES” SO FAST!ONE DAY YOU SEE THE CHANGE AND SAY WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!!AND TO BE REMINDED OF YOUR MOTHER IS A GOOD THING!
      I AM TRYING TO BRING UP SUBJECTS THAT ARE NOT TALKED ABOUT…………
      TRYING TO HELP OHERS.
      I ACCEPT IT ALL HAPPY TO STILL BE HERE WRITING THIS BLOG AND SIPPING MY CAFE.
      I DO NOT “THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT MANY THINGS”I JUST NOTICE THINGS AND HOW HUMANS ARE CHANGING…………ARE NOT INTERACTING, CREATING LESS JOBS ETC.
      AMERICA IS A BIT DIFFERENT THAN SPAIN I WOULD IMAGINE.I THINK A LOT OF US WOULD LIKE TO RUN BACK TO EUROPE NOW!
      MY ALIMENTS RUN DEEP AND I WISH IT WAS SO SIMPLE………………
      YOU BE WELL!
      I SEE YOU AROUND THE BLOG SHPERE COMMENTING AWAY!!!
      XXX

      • Mumbai
        · Reply

        October 23, 2022 at 9:10 AM

        I appreciate and admire you for writing so honestly and openly and trying to help others. A bit confused and this might be mis-understood but this was my perception of your text. Just notice something, is a prerequisite for thinking beforehand …and yes world and therefore the people change in an unfortunately not good way….and don’t believe Europe/spain is different to your country. Currently, as you know, we have a lot of problems. Though please tell me why most of Americans would like to come back.
        I would be interested in the reasons for this.
        And finally I can only repeat that all (problems, disease etc) comes from the psychical side in us…that’s I meant “don’t think too much”
        All the best, dear Elizabeth.

  • kim
    · Reply

    October 22, 2022 at 8:25 AM

    I didn’t mean you accept it.. I meant the tome of the comments is accept it and find joy and that is so true..

  • kim
    · Reply

    October 22, 2022 at 8:23 AM

    Wow some nice comments here and some are inspiring.. Just accept it and enjoy the little things.. I concur about the eyesight. My dad just was sent to an ophthalmologist that does a test of lifting your lid up to see if you have better vision and he did. Insurance will then pay for this kind of eye lift, and for him, it will help as reading, even with his readers, is getting hard because of the lids.. I am sure i am headed in the same direction and Max has it worse than I… Nice though now there is a fix. I think they do a lot of these in some offices..
    My other beefs are inconsiderate people who have no manners, neighbors who turn the other way and close the garage after driving in.. Not all are like that. How are we supposed to form a community that way??? My new neighbors from China and Korea are awesome..Love them and their children. The other new American ones.. I try and no bueno, so it’s not a cultural thing, it’s how you were raised. Maybe it’s something we as parents need to teach our kids. I always say to the sons, how the neighbor? Do you talk to them? It’s part of manners and caring about us all….I just bought my little neighbors a Halloween book as I no smalls in our family! It’s fun. I also make treat bags for all the kids, even though we get less and they take them to another big neighborhood. At the very least they should do trick or treating on the home block don’t you think? Still I drop the bags off if they don’t show up, I also decorate and leave the lights on. I’m trying.

    Other beefs are people who talk too loud on their cells, especially at restaurants and on the street and things..Those who give their kids a screen a restaurant! I never did this once and my kids had small books or paper to draw. Once you go down that path it’s a slippery slope..
    I try and find the joy every day in the things I love. You look so pretty in your outfit here.. Hang in there and know you are bringing joy and that you are a ray of sunshine!! xoxo

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 23, 2022 at 6:52 AM

      I ACCEPT IT………JUST SAYING IT’S A SHOCK WHEN IT HAPPENS.
      THE SCREENS AT THE RESTAURANTS OR ANYWHERE IS A SIGN OF LAZINESS.ON THE PARENTS SIDE………….BUT AGAIN THEY ARE TIRED FROM EATING OUT OR SCROLLING THROUGH TWITTER!AND HOPEFULLY A JOB.
      MAYBE THE KIDS WILL LEARN FASTER AND BETTER THAN PAPER AND PENCIL?
      THAT WOULD BE A GOOD “STUDY”!!HELLO STANFORD!!!!!!
      XOXO

  • Marie
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 6:36 PM

    Can you direct me to your comments on bladder control? Thank You
    Grabbed my attention

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 21, 2022 at 7:27 AM

      I need to go back and find it for you!I most certainly will do that!
      Of course I didnot give it a title BLADDER so will have to go back and read…….its been over a year maybe two!PLEASE CHECK HERE AND I WILL POST!
      Things I still use from it:
      1.If you hold your tongue to the roof of your mouth you can hold it longer!
      2.Lean forward towards the floor when peeing as MORE will come out!
      3.Put thumb and middle finger together touching!That will help you hold it as you are walking to the restroom!
      XXX

      • Marie
        · Reply

        October 21, 2022 at 5:07 PM

        Already using this advice. But my hallway is LONG and often I just don’t make it. But it is comforting to know someone else is dealing with this issue. Doctors have not been helpful.

        • caroline Walker
          · Reply

          October 22, 2022 at 11:19 PM

          I have been going to a urologist for acupuncture once a week Needle in the ankle (painless) for half an hour. I am on session No. 9. Twelve are allowed on Medicare. This seems to be helping.

          • LA CONTESSA
            · Reply

            Author
            October 23, 2022 at 6:54 AM

            THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!XXX

            • caroline Walker
              · Reply

              October 23, 2022 at 9:58 PM

              Unfortunately, I had missed the original article so thank you for running it again.

        • LA CONTESSA
          · Reply

          Author
          October 23, 2022 at 7:10 AM

          HERE YOU GO!BLADDER CHATTER………..I HOPE IT HELPS!SEE CAROLINE’S COMMENT HERE TOO.ACUPUNCTURE IN ANKLE IS HELPING HER!XXX
          http://box5525.temp.domains/~kvhskymy/thevintagecontessa/2021/01/11/lady-windermere-syndrome/

          • Marie
            · Reply

            October 24, 2022 at 11:36 AM

            Why thanks for your help! This is just a nice chat with friends.

  • Pipistrello
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 6:36 PM

    I remember the shock of seeing my mother in her 50s suddenly looking so much older. She went from looking younger than one thought in her 40s and then older than one thought in her 50s. I have never thought to ask her how she felt herself about that falling-off-a-cliff transformation and I don’t think I ever would but I’m following along in her footsteps as we speak, so probably don’t need to! Funnily enough, now that I’m out of those youthful years where you can see the first wrinkle, sag or age spot on yourself or anyone else like a shining headlight that stuns you, she in her 70s looks no different to me now. I guess we just become blurred and indistinct after a while – not to mention just plain invisible to perfect strangers! And it’s just as well to be invisible now that I’m getting a bald patch on the back of my crown. Delightful!!!! Not!!!!!

    By the way, I’m having a dancing class blitz right now, (and I can’t look at my scrawny form in the mirror, for it’s not a pretty sight, hahahah) but there’s a generous smattering of former dancers in their 70s and even 80s in my classes and none of them have skin or bodies that have defied gravity or erosion, despite their amazing muscular foundation, which rather proves nothing’s likely to work. However, for dementia-prevention (as my tap teacher constantly reminds us) it’s fabulous!

    Your blog posts are a delight, Bella, and I’ve just noticed the comments box now looks like you’re using WordPress – have you rejigged things?

    Baci xxx

    ps: This is the second comment posted – I tried the WordPress login and it may have gone into your spam as it didn’t appear on the blog page. I’m trying again – Delete the duplicate and this ps dear one 🙂

  • Pipistrello
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 6:32 PM

    I remember the shock of seeing my mother in her 50s suddenly looking so much older. She went from looking younger than one thought in her 40s and then older than one thought in her 50s. I have never thought to ask her how she felt herself about that falling-off-a-cliff transformation and I don’t think I ever would but I’m following along in her footsteps as we speak, so probably don’t need to! Funnily enough, now that I’m out of those youthful years where you can see the first wrinkle, sag or age spot on yourself or anyone else like a shining headlight that stuns you, she in her 70s looks no different to me now. I guess we just become blurred and indistinct after a while – not to mention just plain invisible to perfect strangers! And it’s just as well to be invisible now that I’m getting a bald patch on the back of my crown. Delightful!!!! Not!!!!!

    By the way, I’m having a dancing class blitz right now, (and I can’t look at my scrawny form in the mirror, for it’s not a pretty sight, hahahah) but there’s a generous smattering of former dancers in their 70s and even 80s in my classes and none of them have skin or bodies that have defied gravity or erosion, despite their amazing muscular foundation, which rather proves nothing’s likely to work. However, for dementia-prevention (as my tap teacher constantly reminds us) it’s fabulous!

    Your blog posts are a delight, Bella, and I’ve just noticed the comments box now looks like you’re using WordPress – have you rejigged things?

    Baci xxx

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 21, 2022 at 7:39 AM

      YES!
      The comment box has changed…….I hope for the better?
      For me it has. As I would have to enter name and email just to respond and that drove me crazy!I assume you as a commenter do the same?
      I am so sorry you had to write this out twice!
      You did not go into SPAM but into moderation where I have to approve YOU like a first time comment!!!!
      Let’s not even go there………………….UGH!!!
      AS I have always said ,”DUMB COMPUTERS!”
      YOUR DANCE CLASSES ARE GREAT!I WISH I HAD KEPT THAT UP!I THINK THATS WHY I ENJOYED PILATES SO MUCH IT WAS ALL THE OLD BALLET STRETCHES!
      I HAVE A DEAR FRIEND FROM HIGH SCHOOL WHO HAS CONTINUED WITH HER TAP DANCING!!! SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE IS 30 YEARS YOUNGER THAN OUR AGE!

      SEND ME A PHOTO OF YOU TAPPING AWAY OR BETTER YET A VIDEO!!
      XXX

  • Barbara at Mantel and Table
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 2:56 PM

    Ha – we all have so much to say on these subjects! It’s the skin for me! I was shocked years ago when my mom’s started to look like a rhinoceros’, but I’m right behind her now! 🙂 Thanks for opening these doors – it’s just like a coffee and chat session over here! Take care!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 21, 2022 at 7:29 AM

      YES, what gets me every time is I think GOSH I LOOK LIKE MY MOTHER!
      COFFEE CHATS ARE ALWAYS GOOD NO MATTER THE TOPIC!
      XXX

  • 1010ParkPlace
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 12:02 PM

    I hear you, dear Elizabeth. Grieving the loss of my husband and aging are the two most difficult things I’ve done, and I’m not giving them an equal priority. Grieving is definitely the hardest, but we must keep moving forward or all is lost. Last week was my grumble about my looks week, but this week I’ve pulled myself together and decided things aren’t as bad as I first thought. xoxox, B

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 21, 2022 at 7:22 AM

      Well, you certainly have been through the roller coaster on LIFE!
      I applaud you and your ability to keep on keeping on!
      XXX

  • Connie
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 6:17 AM

    I am loving these essays of yours and the wonderful comments from your readers.

    Everything is just so difficult these days. Had to buy new dishwasher. They pulled up what they had on computer in stock at warehouse. 3 choices. Pick one sight unseen..

    What amazed me about ageing body is that once it starts it is fast. Not too bad until 70 then collapsing neck, wrinkled arms, poor eyesight – worst in large stores. Is it the overhead lighting?- hearing loss etc etc. Injections in my knees help me get around better temporarily. After losing weight with intermittent fasting most of my pants don’t fit. Can’t bear going to try on pants. Caftans to the rescue!
    I am understanding my mom and things she did as she aged more everyday. I wish I could talk to her about ageing.

    Please keep writing. Your tribe needs you !

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 20, 2022 at 8:39 AM

      TRIBE CHIEF IS HERE!
      YES TO OVERHEAD LIGHTING AS IT BOTHERS ME A LOT!I TEND TO GET HEADACHES FROM IT…………..
      WEAR LEGGINGS WITH CAFTANS FOR WARMTH IF THE ELASTIC TIGHTNESS IS NOT AN ISSUE!THEY CAN BE VERY TAUNT AND THAT IS SOMETHING NEW FOR ME THAT I DO NOT WANT TO TOLERATE ANYMORE!SO COTTON NARROW PANTS ARE THE WAY TO GO EVEN IF YOU WOULD NEVER WEAR ALONE OUTSIDE THE HOUSE UNDER A CAFTAN WILL WORK AND LOOK PERFECTLY PULLED TOGETHER!
      WE MUST ALL HANG IN THERE AND LAUGH ABOUT IT AND TALK ABOUT IT!!
      XXX

  • Rosemarie
    · Reply

    October 20, 2022 at 12:34 AM

    Good morning CONTESSA
    Well this certainly has been quite a post/rant which has generated so much discussion! Well done!
    I was going to share some stories but then I started ranting! So hit delete.
    For some odd reason I haven’t paid much attention to aging and my changing body. Maybe one day I will look in the mirror and it will hit me.
    Tonight I listened to an interview with an author. The commentator commented how in reading the author’s books she had formed a forever connection and found family in the books. I thought that is what your blog has done. People have formed a forever connection with you/your blog and have become a family.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 20, 2022 at 8:32 AM

      ROSEMARIE………YES THAT IS EXACTLY HOW I THINK OF IT!THAT WAS WHY IN THE EARLIER YEARS I ALWAYS TOLD PEOPLE TO COMMENT.OTHERWISE, I DO NOT KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHO IS OUT THERE READING!I UNDERSTOOD FROM THE BEGINNING I HAD AN OLDER CROWD……..WHO EITHER UNDERSTOOD ME AND MY HUMOR OR ENJOYED ME FOR MY THEATRICS IN DRESSING!IT IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR A WRITER TO KNOW WHO HER AUDIENCE IS!
      THANK YOU,XXX

  • PPP
    · Reply

    October 19, 2022 at 12:09 PM

    Ma Chere Contessa,
    What a hilarious blog and the comments from your faithful readers as well were wonderful because it’s is all so true!
    Youth is fleeting.. the middle years whip by in a blur and I certainly didn’t see ageing coming all too soon.
    Now everything sags, the eyes blur and it takes a lot to gerry rig my toes and the inside of my shoes so that I can walk without pain. My constant quest is for clothes that hide my bodily flaws.
    Omigod what is to be done?
    Well on thing is to read your blog and laugh!
    Despite your hilarious rants you really do have the best answers to ageing.
    Good friends, communication, interesting pursuits, the resolve to never be limited by physical or mental problems whenever possible.
    Thanks for a wonderful read.
    BTW the kids come back when they need you.
    In the meantime, get love and attention from 4 legged children and as for the absent spouse??
    Get a weighted blanket.?
    Love,
    PPP

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 20, 2022 at 8:27 AM

      YOU NAILED IT ANN!
      I THINK I WOULD LOVE ONE OF THOSE WEIGHTED BLANKETS!
      BIG HUG
      XXX

  • Anita
    · Reply

    October 19, 2022 at 11:12 AM

    I think you should move to the country Elizabeth. I think you would love it. No noise, you could have more animals, no nosey neighbours. Your health, I believe would improve…….most important. You could be the new Zsa Zsa Gabor like in Greenacres!!!!!I think Giampy would enjoy his retirement there too. I’m sure he’d love using a chainsaw, a log splitter and driving a 4wd …….. like Paul does.
    Post Paul’s retirement…….36 acres has kept my sanity…….just.
    Great rant hon xxx
    Love you xx
    Neat x

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 11:40 AM

      YOU WENT INTO MY SPAM!!!!!!!!!
      A QUICK RESPONSE AS I NEED TO HOP INTO THE SHOWER…….
      I HAVE GIVEN IT A LOT OF THOUGHT THE COUNTRY………….
      BUT WHAT I FIND SO VERY FUNNY GIAMPY HAS ALL THE ABOVE AND USES FREQUENTLY!!
      THERE ISNOT A TOOL HE DOESNOT HAVE EVEN GENERATORS ARE READY FOR ACTION IN CASE OF POWER LOSS………
      PAUL AND HE WOULD GET ON GREAT!
      I OWE YOU AN EMAIL……..GIVE ME A COUPLE OF DAYS!
      XOXO

  • Mary A James
    · Reply

    October 19, 2022 at 10:48 AM

    I’ d love to have the character RICHARD FISH from Ally McBeal around to touch my neck waddle these days. Ha, ha. No need to wrap the scarf to hide the chicken neck if he were around. Oh my, the trails of our aches and pains, and comparing our illnesses, scars and the like as we age. Remember when we would shake our heads listening to the OLDER ladies complain, and now here we are. Where did time go?
    As Long as I wake up and am able to get out of bed, I’m happy– even with my medical issues. I love the morning…as does my beloved dog Lee, who in my stead runs through the yard barking and announcing we are up, we are alive, and we are happy. Gives me great joy even when I am stiff as a board in all my joints and the knees are killing me to name a few issues- and yet as I pop endless pills for the heart, I refuse to allow these inconveniences to ruin my day. Dr’s can ruin it for me, dealing with the federal government over contracts can send me into a tizzy, dealing with vendors who don’t know how to spell customer service much less have any can make my heart pitty pat, and I long for the good old G&T at sunset. I am blessed to continue to work at 73 and in 6 months 74 in a business I love, which keeps me focused, pissed off at times…but alive. Ranting is marvelous for the soul and head…and I have those times too and think it is so healthy. I learn so much about health and your inner and outer beauty Contessa, for you are such a gift. Thank you for sharing.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 20, 2022 at 8:23 AM

      MARY!
      THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL COMMENT WITH DETAIL AND I CAN SEE MY GOD DOG PRANCING WITH DELIGHT AT THE MORNING ESCAPE INTO THE YARD!
      I RECALL THE SHOW ALLY MC BEAL BUT I CANNOT REMEMBER WHAT IT WAS ABOUT!!!!!OH YES A G&T WITH LIME………THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIEND!
      XXX

  • judith
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 10:35 PM

    I enjoyed reading this so much, Contessa. It’s mentally healthy to rant now and then; and it’s comforting to know that so many other gals feel the same way. All we can do is keep going, practice gratitude, and find joy every day. I am more focused on personal care now than I was ten years ago, and I believe this helps. Thank you for continuing to bring forth these important issues and not being afraid to talk about them. I have said this before, and more than once: you are an inspiration to us all.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 3:13 PM

      I AM DOING A MUCH BETTER JOB WASHING MY FACE AND USING THE ARGAN OIL AND CREAMS.I NEVER WASHED MY FACE AS A KID EVER!I ALWAYS SAID THAT WAS WHY I DIDNOT HAVE A COMPLEXION PROBLEM IN HIGH SCHOOL.
      IT’S FUN NOW AS WE HAVE MORE TIME!!!!!
      TODAY I WASHED MY HAIR AND FELL ASLEEP ON MY BED LISTENING TO A PODCAST!LIFE OF A CONTESSA!!HAHAHA………..
      HOPE YOU ARE FEELING PERKY AND UP AND AT EM?
      ME AN INSPIRATION?NO NO NO…….ITS ALL OF YOU READERS THAT ARE MINE I JUST KEEP PLUGGING ALONG!
      BIG HUGS
      XXX

  • Jill James
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:21 PM

    Such an interesting post Elizabeth on so many levels. Some points I can relate to, others not so much. I also agree that if you are unwell there is a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of our lives. I am fortunate that at nearly 69 , except for some seasonal asthma I am in good health.I can relate to the heavy eyelids , an inherited condition in our family, my sister had hers operated on yesterday before cataract surgery in a few weeks. I used to worry about my arms but now I really don’t care so much.
    I still have no problem finding clothes , way too often really and am finding I am enjoying dressing for me and playing with different styles.
    Neighbours , come and go , I keep to myself these days.
    It does take time to adjust to the empty nest and realise that you have raised confident , self sufficient young adults that have their own lives to lives. Yes our pets are such great companions that never dissapoint.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 3:08 PM

      I CAN STILL FIND CLOTHES……………
      JUST CANNOT BUY WHAT I REALLY LIKE ANYMORE!SO I WILL STICK WITH WHAT I HAVE!WE ALL KNOW I HAVE ENOUGH FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!
      FOR ME ITS ABOUT AGE APPROPRIATE.YOU ON THE OTHER HAND ARE A WALKING PIECE OF ART!NOTHING LOOKS BAD ON YOU!
      XXX

  • lisa thomson-author
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 5:17 PM

    Excellent rant, LA CONTESSA. I was nodding throughout this. So much I can relate to.

    My kids will text and facetime with me. I have learned to leave them space and wait for their request. I don’t have pets because we are in a fourth floor apartment. We will be getting a dog and cat once we are on land in a home. 🙂

    Speaking to aging bodies…yup. I’m right behind ya. I used to live in jeans but no more. I am uncomfortable in them now, plus my muffin top is growing. I am feeling fatigued much quicker during exercise. I fear I am becoming lazier. speaking of neighbors, mine is just getting home now. I like to watch him as he is absolutely gorgeous (my ‘studio’ faces the back alley and I can see my neighbors coming and going). I agree that neighbors should be friendly, especially in homes on the same street!

    As for health, I’ve been very fortunate thus far but I have had some dental surgery last week. I am in a bit of pain ever since. Advil every four hours. Gone through a few bottles. If anyone has had a dental implant, I would love to hear your experience or any tips. I am surprised how painful it has been.
    I will read all the comments now as I enjoy them as much as the blog itself. You look fabulous, LA CONTESSA. Love the kaftan you’re wearing. xo

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 3:03 PM

      THE PAIN SHOULD BE GONE BY NOW?NEVER HEARD OF DENTAL WORK HURTING INTO THE FOLLOWING WEEK!THE ITALIAN JUST HAD SOMETHING DONE..AND WITH HIM IT WAS THAT AFTERNOON ONLY BUT HE NEVER COMPLAINS I SHALL ASK TONIGHT!
      XXX

  • Heidi
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 3:27 PM

    Hi Elizabeth,
    Well that’s a long list of things to worry you. I can relate to your feelings of distress, but for different reasons. Getting to this stage of life and having everything change drastically, not by my choice, the realization often gets my head spinning and my heart beating like crazy. But I still try to see the bright side and stay positive. I don’t think I could get through this any other way. Which doesn’t mean it’s easy, I’m just looking out for myself and for what I want. Sometimes I’m not even sure, but I know I deserve a peaceful and loving life, and that’s what I’m going after.
    I’ve been lucky with my health and keep strong and limber with yoga, try to eat well, paint and be creative, surround myself with positive people, and think thoughts that bring calm and peace into my life. I’m feeling pretty good right now, despite the crummy parts of my life.I guess I just need to go through to get to the other side!
    I wish you good health and a happy day Elizabeth,
    Xo Heidi

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 2:59 PM

      I am ranting not unhappy………the aging process is WONDERFUL Beats the alternative!
      I just find these changes so shocking as there is no warning it all happens over night!!
      You do have a few challenges a head……..STAY STRONG!
      XXX

  • m in HI
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 12:53 PM

    Being over 50, has been interesting to say the least! Gosh, I wish my mama was alive to ask her the questions I have. Since I do not have her, I’m grateful for women like you who put forth the amazing effort to write blogposts for me to read and educate myself. Truly, reading blogs is how I gain my information. I rather hear it from you or Cindy, MaryAnn, Tamera, Mary C, Jennifer, Janice, or Katie. You are my wise, friendly, sharing “friends.” So my latest rant is: I can’t wear heals without causing harm to my hips and back and then need pain meds and a trip to the chiropractor for an adjustment. Next up is a visit to the dentist as a filling fell out this morning. Things need replacing more often as I get older and it’s more expensive to be older. And by golly, what happened to the early bird menus that my grandparents used when we went to dinner at 4pm back in the 1980s? I was looking forward to using those myself at this age.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 11:33 AM

      GIVE UP THE HEELS ALTHOUGH I HAVE NOT WORN HEELS IN 37 YEARS AS THE ITALIAN IS SHORTER THAN ME!SEARCH OR GOOGLE BIRDIES……..AND IF YOU ARE IN HAWAII THEY HAVE THE PERFECT SHOES FOR YOU MADE OF STRAW AND KEDS,I LOVE THE VELVET ONES TOO……………I HAVE THEM ALL!PLUS YOU GET 20% OFF THE NEXT PURCHASE YOU MAKE IF YOU DO A QUICK EMAIL SURVEY!
      THE DISCOUNT IS ON ALL THE TIME…….IF YOU DO THE SURVEY!
      THEY SHOULD HIRE ME!!!!
      I HAVE STARTED GOING TO THE CHIROPRACTOR ONCE A MONTH FOR TUNE UPS!IF YOU HAVE BEEN READING ME FOR AWHILE YOU KNOW I HAVE AN ATLAS THAT IS WONKY!THE ATLAS HOLDS UP THE HEAD!ALSO MY LOWER BACK IS OUT OF ALIGNMENT FREQUENTLY!
      EARLY BIRD MENU’S!!!!!!!!
      THAT TAKES ME BACK……….I HAVE NOT HEARD NOR SEEN THOSE IN YEARS!!!

      I’LL TELL YOU A SECRET…….SHHHH!!! KATIE IS NOT HER REAL NAME!
      AND YOU CAN BET SHE WILL BE AT THE MOVIES THS WEEKEND WHEN JULIA ROBERTS AND GEORGE CLOONY HIT THE BIG SCREEN!!!!

      TAKE CARE AND I LOVE TO SEE YOU COMMENTING!LET ME KNOW IF YOU ORDER A PAIR OF BIRDIES AND MORE IMPORTANTLY IF YOU LIKE THEM!

      XXX

      • m in HI
        · Reply

        October 24, 2022 at 3:18 AM

        Ok. I went to the Birdies website. I don’t see anything straw. I do see the ones like Keds. Being on the rainforest side of the island- pebble, soft leather cracks and falls apart. My beautiful leather wallet looked like I took it to a cheese grater after two weeks being here. With the rain everyday, I have already ruined my walking shoes and my Vionic ballet flats as I left without an umbrella and the insoles could not be removed. I don’t do that anymore. I didn’t find that swishy cotton dress yet, but I did buy an all cotton guaze top from Soft Surroundings. About the delightful Katie, pictures of her monogrammed pillows clued me in. Truthfully, she looks like she could be a Katie so she’ll be Katie to me & others & it would have been fun to see her at the movie this weekend. I would have been “starstruck.” : )

        • LA CONTESSA
          · Reply

          Author
          October 24, 2022 at 8:07 AM

          HERE YOU GO!
          https://birdies.com/products/womens-flats-starling-pink-woven?variant=39665088266320

          THERE ARE OTHER COLORS AND THEY ARE ON SALE NOW DUE TO SUMMER BEING OVER!I AM CERTAIN THESE WILL COME BACK NEXT SPRING………….CHECK BACK WITH ME!

          I SAID THE SAME THING ABOUT KATIE!!!!!

          XXX

  • Juliet
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 12:03 PM

    Contessa! Oh, the horror of it all. I’m nodding away like mad to everything you’ve said. And the arms, what is this about? I suppose its the sun damage we were told would catch up with us eventually. But eventually seemed so far away. Certainly not here and now. And the legs, I can’t bear to think about them and I may never enjoy a warm weather vacation again. Neighbors … we have not had friendly neighbors since 2010 when we moved back home to Lamorinda. In our old neighborhood we had annual progressive dinners, so fun and we knew everyone. Since moving to Snowberry we’ve met a couple of neighbors but can only say we know one set … across the street, delightful British couple. Yet, we can go months without ever seeing them. Jim often inquires (he’s gone most weeks) have I seen Mike or Mary? Earlier this week a new-ish neighbor stopped to chat as we were in the driveway. Turns out we owe our newspaper delivery (from driveway to bench) to his young son. Delightful. Sadly, we will probably not talk to them again for another year and chance encounter where we are both on street at same time. People aren’t unfriendly, just never seen. Of course, I’m the same way … so who am I to talk. What else … sleep. What is that? I’ve been without for 10 years, or more. One of the reasons I retired from my real job … I couldn’t function in my stressful and long housed job on no sleep. I too try to shut out the light … with a flannel scarf over my eyes (used to be a pillow). Sound doesn’t tend to bother me, but the light does. I’m going to try your weighted mask sounds interesting. Also afraid a mask will create a crease in my hair. And in the mornings dealing with creases in my face in more than enough. Not being able to get anyone on the phone is getting worse and worse. And then when you do, its likely they will be rude and unhelpful. When they’re not its such a delight and I find myself gushing about how wonderful they are. Back int eh day this would have been the expectation, not above and beyond.And, yes, I indientify more with my parents as well. As for the young ones, I’ve taken the path of being her when they want/need me … and I try to find things to keep me interested and busy in life so I don’t dwell on their absence. As much.What else? I could go on and on, but I won’t. Animals … I’m so grateful for our two dogs and cat. What would I do without them, I don’t want to find out. They make life a joy and give me a purpose. And I’ve found the same for the blog … I may not be good at it, and I’m often worried and stressed over it, but it gives me a purpose and direction and an outlet to express myself which I love. And I have you to thank for encouraging me. On that note, I’m going to call the pharmacy to renew my sleep aid (it allows me at least 4 hours a night) and then run out to get botox around my crows feet. And I’ll be doing this with an ice pack on my lower back … because I’m falling apart! Enjoyed this post … and all your posts so much. xo

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 11:19 AM

      THE BLOG DOES GIVE PURPOSE AS DO ANIMALS……….AND YOU DO A FANTASTIC JOB!NEVER DOUBT YOURSELF………….
      I STILL THINK MY 40’S WERE MY BEST YEARS!
      ANYHOW YOU AND I COME FROM THE SAME ERA AND THE SAME VALUES AND CAN CHAT ABOUT LIFE TODAY VERSES YESTERYEAR FOREVER NOW!
      BE GONE CROWS FEET FOR THE BIG DAY!!!!!!!!!!!
      XOXO

  • Luci
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 11:25 AM

    Elizabeth,
    I found your post surprisingly uplifting as I am not alone in my losses. Thank-you for your honesty and willingness to put it out there in a way that I could not.

    Luci

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 11:03 AM

      MY PLEASURE as I like for us to all chime in and chat about what we are going through!
      XXX

  • D. A. Squires
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 10:16 AM

    Everything you wrote about I have experienced or know could be coming my way. The line from Sex and the City…’And just like that..’ rings very true for me because it seems like AGING was a ‘sudden onset’ condition.. suddenly, and almost all at once, I had a frozen shoulder, back pain, arthritic fingers, generalized sagging : ) and then–an osteoporosis diagnosis that I thought 1) was a mistake (my films must have been switched with an OLD person) and 2) that I was way too young to have this diagnosis (I was ‘only’ 68 : ) We have had terrible luck with neighbors, our pets have become VERY important (I even wrote a book about them : ), clothes do not fit like they used to, my medicine cabinet has somehow (?!) become filled with potions and lotions that have ‘anti-aging’ somewhere on the label. But there is a twist– my husband is retired and I am working full-time with no plans to ‘retire’ soon, because I am worried the brain will begin to sag like everything else!! Last, but not least, I could not believe the description of the king size pillow over your head–that is what I do!! Down-filled, it is light weight, keeps me ‘in the dark’: ) and muffles any sound– I cannot sleep w/o it!! XOXO

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 11:09 AM

      DOWN – FILLED ME TOO!Mine is at least 40 years old!Was my Mothers……..
      every once in awhile I put in the dryer to air it out!!!
      I am not complaining as a few people here have interpret I AM MORE IN SHOCK as to how it came on so FAST with no little sag here NO little SAG there…….
      JUST FULL ON ARM GONE HIDDEN IN A POOL OF LINES!
      We have so much in common!
      XOXO

  • Sandra Sallin
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 10:13 AM

    You’re always fun to read. Who said these were the “Golden Years”? I’d say my biggest gripe are my health issues. But I’m really having fun with Instagram and youTube. I like learning new things and connecting with such interesting women. I wish they were my neighbors. But actually I have great neighbors. Some lovely caring neighbors that are such fun to be with.I love learning new things. So I’m trying to learn YouTube now. Of course Instagram keeps on changing but whatcha going to do? My body? Other than health issues at least I’m still alive. Arms not perfect. So what. Waking at 3-4? I read something that is has to do with Hormones, and that you’re supposed to eat a complex carbohydrate before you go to bed. I don’t know by the time i get ready for bed the last thing I want to think about is a complex carbohydrate.Are you aware of Mark Cuban’s web site where you can buy prescriptions at cost plus 15%? Check it out.
    Always fun reading your blog!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 10:36 AM

      MY GUT TELLS ME NOT FOR DOGS!THE DRUGS.
      YES,YOU ARE A TOTAL INSPIRATION………..AND HAVE SHOWN HOW AN 80 YEAR OLD ALMOST 82 CAN TAKE SITTING AT HOME AND TURN IT INTO A FUN DAY WITH AMAZING PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD!
      TAKE THAT COVID………………..

      BIRTHDAY SOON………..!!!!
      MAYBE A BIRTHDAY YOUTUBE OF THE FESTIVITIES??

      XXX

  • cindy
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 9:29 AM

    Welllll…I can agree with many things. Great topics for discussion. I don’t sleep well but that has improved I think with taking collagen. I do think we also need to focus on the positives of aging. We have the knowledge and confidence to be comfortable with who we are and where we are headed. I am forced to keep up with technology because blogging is not only my passion but my job as well. I do have to educate myself in order to keep up, but that keeps my mind alert. I do feel very fortunate that through blogging I have met a positive, interesting, stylish group of women who are not ready to throw in the towel and give in to age. I am looking forward to the next chapter as much as I have cherished the past.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 10:32 AM

      AGREE!
      WE ARE STILL HERE AND KICKING AND MAKING FRIENDS AND EATING WELL………….
      ENJOYING DISTANT SHORES AND BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND ANIMALS.
      LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU LATER TODAY!
      XXX

  • Lynda
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 9:10 AM

    Dearest Elisabeth, 3AM is what I call the “hour of the wolf”. When I rise but not often I intuit that there is a reason, not sure what, for being awakened. Normally I sleep like a log. Since cataract surgery I can see the craters on the moon. Since I have turned 81, nothing much seems to bother me. I can still wear the clothes I wore 20 years ago, like that amazing Max Mara pant suit I bought. No children so I am the doting ‘grandmother’ when I encounter them. I find them amazing, fun and interesting. I am amazed at all the creative talent out there via instagram. I love that because of new algorithms I see not only what I follow but other new and exciting posts. I have fully embraced technology and can hardly wait to get the iPhone 14 Pro and play with the camera. My hearing is shot but new hearing aids are great and I can still hear the birds sing. No husband, after my second divorce I realized I am the ‘my way or the highway’ kind of person. I compromised a lot with #2 but it just wasn’t enough. I adore male energy but at this point have given up on another mate. I work so I interact with all kinds of people in different settings so I look forward to ” what kind of experience I am going to have today”. Working is basically my social life so when home I delve into “what kind of new thing can I learn today” mode. I am currently learning Spanish via Duolingo. Health-wise I have CLL so every single day I wake up is precious. Oh! This is supposed to be a rant!! Well, I do hate rude testosterone driven drivers on the Los Angeles freeways……but that is another story.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 10:29 AM

      THOSE DRIVERS ARE UP NORTH TOO!THEY HAVE NO COMPASSION FOR LIFE.THEY ARE A VIDEO GAME IN MOTION!
      I READ IN THE LAST 4 YEARS WHEN I WAS SEEKING HELP FROM THE NATUROPATH SOCIETY THAT 3 AM MEANS THE LUNGS!!!THATS ALL I RECALL…………MAYBE GOOGLE WAKING AT 3 AM IN EASERN MEDS AND SEE WHAT IT SAYS?
      THOSE OTHER POSTS WERE ALWAYS THERE……….BUT NOW YOU GET THEM BIGGER AND LOUDER!
      OH YOU LUCKY GAL I WANT THE NEW I PHONE AS WELL……..I ALWAYS GET THE EYEROLL WHEN I SAY SOMETHING!
      NOW IF I WAS AN INFLUENCER I COULD DEDUCT IT FROM MY TAXES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      I BELIEVE INSTA AND FACEBOOK HAVE TAKEN THE PLACE OF MAGAZINES!
      SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAVE LIFE ALL FIGURED OUT!I ADMIRE YOU AND YOUR TENACITY!
      KEEP ON KEEPING ON!!!
      THANK YOU FOR THIS GREAT COMMENT!
      XXX

  • Susan
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 8:43 AM

    People have changed greatly since Covid. Everybody has retracted somewhat. This is not good for anyone. People need people and there is no denying this. Sadly, I’m not sure how to fix this problem and even wonder if others even notice the change. Some neighbors are great and others, not so much. I actually once had a neighbor who said to me: “I need my space and privacy.” The message was, stay away which I did going forward. Regarding health and wellness: Quality of care seems in decline. The system is difficult to work with. My neighbor recently told me he was quoted an enormous price for lots of dental work (buying 3 BMW’s was his comparison price) so he traveled to India where he has relatives and had everything done for a fraction of the cost.(He said the dental work was done by an American trained dentist. Is this the future for getting great care? Maybe.) My adult son lives across the country from me and he travels abroad and is out of the country regularly. Generally I know where he is. When we talk the conversation is always interesting so I can’t complain. Like you, I have my home, garden and pets and continue to enjoy everything about them. Sometimes I think as things get worse, I must stay focused on the positives that continue in my life. I’m thinking about buying my Christmas trees and all the decorations to bring out. I love Christmas and am hoping for lots of snow and a big fire in the fireplace.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 10:16 AM

      FIND JOY EVERY DAY HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY MOTTO!
      WE DO THE BEST WE CAN AND IF WE ARENOT RECEIVED WITH KINDNESS IT’S TIME TO TAKE A BREATHER………..
      IT PROBABLY WILL DO MORE GOOD THAN BAD EXCEPT THE LOSS OF TIME!
      AGAIN EACH SITUATION IS DIFFERENT AND WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MAYNOT WORK FOR ANOTHER………….
      GET THOSES DECORATIONS OUT!!!!
      XXX

  • sbchica
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 8:22 AM

    Yep, yep, yep, yep to almost the whole list! I knew I couldn’t be the only one feeling this way! My husband and I frequently speak of most things on your list, entertaining, neighbors, the kids staying in touch, also rude people! I guess it’s just the way life is and we just “gotta hang”, as they say.

    My Mother is 102, still has her marbles, socializes and exercises BUT has slowed down quite a bit. I’ve learned a lot from her since we moved in to “watch over her” THIRTEEN years ago. She’ll tell me things that HER mother (my grandmother) would say to her, for instance, “life just gets more complicated” and we realize that grandma was right!

    Keep up the great writing Contessa!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 10:11 AM

      IT SURE DOES!
      NOT WHAT I THOUGHT MY GOLDEN YEARS WOULD BE…………..
      I AM HAPPY I GOT TO DO A LOT BEFORE MY CHALLENGES SET IN………TRAVELED, LIVED ABROAD BEEN TO AFRICA!
      MARRIED A GOOD MAN WHO STILL BUYS ME CARDS AND CALLS ME AT LEAST TWICE A DAY!WILL BRING FLOWERS HOME FROM COSTCO FOR NO REASON JUST BECAUSE!
      WE BOUGHT AND FIXED A SMALL RANCH STYLE HOME WHICH I MADE MY OWN.I CAN HONESTLY SAY I WAS HAPPY TO BE AT HOME DURING COVID AND BEYOND AS IT MY JEWEL BOX!
      ALWAYS SOMETHING TO READ OR CLEAN OR DREAM ABOUT CHANGING!
      XXX

      • Stephanie D
        · Reply

        October 20, 2022 at 5:13 AM

        I love this reply Elizabeth…
        Yes so much to enjoy and be grateful for right where we are. Creating a beautiful life is an inside job…you’ve found the secret.
        Makes me think of if one of my favorite James Taylor songs – “The secret to life is enjoying the passage of time”…
        xx

        • LA CONTESSA
          · Reply

          Author
          October 20, 2022 at 8:45 AM

          JAMES TAYLOR WAS BIG IN THE 1980’S……..AS WE MOTORED UNDER THE GOLDEN GATE ANOTHER STUDENT ON SEMESTER AT SEA HAD BLASTING ON HIS BOOM BOX “I’M COMING TO AMERICA!”
          I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT AND THE FEELING I HAD RETURNING”HOME” AFTER BEING OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR 3 MONTHS AND REALIZING HOW GOOD WE HAD IT HERE COMPARED TO OTHERS!!!
          I NEED TO FIND HIS SONGS NOW!!
          THANK YOU……….BIG HUG,XXX

          • Stephanie D
            · Reply

            October 20, 2022 at 5:53 PM

            Pandora, Spotify or wherever you get your music. James Taylor channel…his music, his poetry, just makes me feel all the feels. Love him so much.
            Big hugs right back to you my friend…xx

  • Pat
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 8:12 AM

    Ha! When we moved here 27 years ago I called it the neutron bomb neighborhood, you know kills people but leaves the buildings standing. There are still people who live on our cul de sac whom I’ve never met. I hilly streets with no sidewalks contribute to this. I only see some of my neighbors when they’re in their cars.
    I counter this by going to the local coffee where I get to see all sorts of people I know. Not a perfect solution, but it works for me.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:35 AM

      GREAT IDEA…………FIND A SOCIAL SPOT TO SOAK UP THE ENERGY!
      XXX
      PS. YOU CAME A YEAR AFTER US?HARD TO BELIEVE IT BEEN THAT LONG!

  • Naomi
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:57 AM

    Oh my heart, I relate!
    I mouth “when did that happen?” on a regular basis, mostly in the mirror. I’ve come to the shocking discovery that when I look down, I somewhat resemble an English Bulldog looking downwards – gravity is cruel!
    I do not sleep well at all. I out it down to shift work but truth be told it’s age and clinically I know it’s common but I’m in denial.
    My bladder betrays me more often than I care to admit, just fabulous paired with insomnia!
    But you know what, I treasure this place in life, there’s also much serenity, a knowing of oneself, a calmness, a grounded peace. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. So aches, pains, and gravity be damned. I appreciate the beauty of things now more than ever, and my friends are incredible women whom I’m humbly blessed to know.
    I’m grateful xxx

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:33 AM

      YES SO TRUE…………
      I HAD SO MUCH SERENITY YESTERDAY JUST SITTING I COULD NOT FIND THE WORD AND HERE YOU ARE GIVING IT TO ME!THE LAST TWO DAYS HAVE BEEN MAGNIFICENT WEATHER WISE AND I JUST SIT IN THE GARDEN AND LISTEN AND WATCH!
      XXX

      • Naomi
        · Reply

        October 20, 2022 at 4:22 AM

        I look at the lives of woman our age, yours being an extraordinarily beautiful example, and I see them akin to period tapestries; complex, curated, woven with color. Yes, repaired, patched, restored, tenderly so, but all the more beautiful for it. Lives of bounty, wisdom, wear and tear, a story to be told of endurance. It is TRUE beauty.

        • LA CONTESSA
          · Reply

          Author
          October 20, 2022 at 8:49 AM

          THIS TOOK MY BREATH AWAY!WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DESCRIPTION OF GROWING OLDER!
          NO WONDER I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED TAPESTRIES!
          IS THIS THE NAOMI I THINK IT IS IN ENGLAND?
          XXX

  • Barbara Spain
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:47 AM

    As I’m reading your blog this morning my head is nodding up and down in agreement. As you, I am experiencing so many of the issues that you wrote about. Now on the subject of retired husbands, I am so glad he did! He’s my best go-out- to – lunch buddy! And, he always picks up the tab!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:30 AM

      THAT IS WONDERFUL TO HEAR BARBARA!
      YOU HAVE GIVEN ME HOPE!
      XXX

  • Daron
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:43 AM

    Know exactly how you feel. My biggest beef is children who don’t live in the same country as you and that restricts my access to beloved Grandchildren??As well as my son himself, although I have to admit that he is awfully respectful of letting us into their lives on a regular basis. I am really jealous of my Son’s Mother-in-Law who gets to see the family really regularly. But that old saying of “a Son is a son till he gets a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life!” Rings awfully true in our case. We miss out on all sorts of celebrations because of distance.
    Ah well such is the life of an expat!.
    Stay happy Elizabeth and this comes to you with all love and concern for you and yours.

    • Denise
      · Reply

      October 18, 2022 at 4:43 PM

      Wow, I feel as though I’m the one who replied,,,
      It did get easier for me , once I accepted the fact the my son’s mother in law got to see them more than I.
      I also had to accept ” Son is a son till he gets a wife” I have no daughters…..

      Keeping busy and trying to stay healthy and as happy as I can ! Life is still good.

      • Maryellen
        · Reply

        October 19, 2022 at 4:27 AM

        These comments are very interesting as my son recently married. I have wondered why my DIL’s mother knows so much more about their daily happenings than I do, even though they live far from both of us. Well, she calls her mom more than my son calls me, of course. Every once in a while I let slide a comment that I want to stay close to their lives and how they live – I hope not in a whiny way but in a ‘this is my desire’ way. Any recommendations for staying close to a married son??

        • LA CONTESSA
          · Reply

          Author
          October 19, 2022 at 10:02 AM

          I have one son who married and has been looking to GET OUT for the last two years………
          So NO she was TOXIC and a FOOL!
          HOWEVER, the women in both my SONS lives are making an effort which I so APPRECIATE!I would reach out to your DIL with phone calls and text messaging……………and see what happens.
          You can share recipes if that seems to be of interest or movies or shops you still frequent.
          I take it no grandchildren yet?That is a good start as well………..
          Best of luck.I know its difficult and if I told you what I have been through you wouldn’t believe me!
          XXX

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:29 AM

      I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT SAYING!!
      BUT OH SO TRUE!
      NOW I WANT AN EMAIL WITH YOUR UPDATES!!THIS WEEK!OR I MIGHT BE CALLING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AS I DID ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!
      XXX

  • Leigh Higgins
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:42 AM

    Such a good blog and I relate to almost everything, especially clothing. So challenging due to the seemingly constant changes of body. We’ve been very fortunate with neighbors and feel so lucky regarding this. It’s nice to know many of us have the same feelings. Thank you, Elizabeth for putting your insights in writing. Take care!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:26 AM

      LEIGH, I MEANT TO GO INTO MORE ABOUT THE CLOTHING BUT I THOUGHT I HAD GONE ON LONG ENOUGH……….
      MORE OF WHAT I MEANT IS I STILL CAN FIND CLOTHES TO FIT ME BUT THINGS I ADORE I REALIZE I CANNOT WEAR OR WOULD LOOK SILLY ON ME NOW AT 62.
      I KNOW WE ARE SUPPOSE TO DRESS IN WHAT EVER CALLS TO US BUT FOR ME THEIR IS A LINE STILL!!
      ABSOLUTELY NO LEGGINGS WITH SHORT TOPS SHOWING THE BUTTOCKS!!NO ONE SHOULD BE WALKING AROUND LIKE THAT…….AND YES I WILL OFFEND PEOPLE BY SAYING THIS BUT SOMEONE HAS TOO!
      BEFORE WALKING OUT THAT DOOR SOMEONE SAID TAKE OFF ONE ACCESSORY………..CHANEL?
      CONTESSA SAYS LOOK AT YOUR BACKSIDE IN A FULL LENGTH MIRROR!
      DOES YOUR BUTT CRACK SHOW?
      DOES YOUR UNDERWEAR SHOW?
      ARE YOUR THIGHS WORTH VIEWING FOR OTHERS………?
      WHEN YOU SIT DOWN WILL YOUR CROTCH SHOW BECAUSE YOU ARE IN A SHORT DRESS?WHEN THE LEGS ARENOT CROSSED OR WHEN THAT POSITION IS IN THE MOMENT HAPPENING!
      I THINK THESE ARE THINGS WE TEND NOT TO THINK ABOUT WHY?BECAUSE WE ARE IN A HURRY TO START THAT DAY…….XXX

  • Susan
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:39 AM

    BTW… you ARE so stunning!….I love how you accepted the coming of old age… but still look great!

    I listen to Loise Hayes and love her affirmation” I will grow old as I meant to …curvy ,short and beautiful!

    During the Covid I quit dying my hair and realized that my natural color is a beautiful shiny silver (and long ).

    I get more compliments now than I ever did with my dyed hair. I have a twin sister who is obsessed with staying young …surgery , Botox, fillers…. spends a fortune on make up.. and false promises face cream! She is beautiful… but inside she is so insecure she doesn’t really even know how pretty she is..

    I adore her… I love her but I think it gets to a point where when you accept yourself your real beauty comes out ….and confidence!! Right?

    Every woman can look pretty with a little lipstick a little rouge and a little eyeliner and with a little coaching of Of style and accessories from you ,Elizabeth…. And staying current on events and being an i interesting person!

    I laughed when you talked about neighbors I am fortunate to live on a dead-end street for the last 30 years with two magnificent neighbors …one who I just lost while I was in Italy two weeks ago …..you never appreciate good neighbors until you’ve had bad ones !I

    Yes… having animals bring my most joy!! And I have to be really honest sometimes even more than my kids or grandkids

    I am a long time follower of yours and this is the first time I’ve ever replied I just want you to know that yes ….like your other followers ….I love when they see you in my email!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:11 AM

      HELLO SUSAN!!!
      WELCOME TO THE COMMENT SECTION HERE!
      ITALY FOR TWO WEEKS MY EARS ARE LISTENING!WHERE DID YOU GO?
      I ACCEPT IT BUT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR IT AS NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT…………..”COMING OF OLD AGE”!
      I FIND MYSELF THINKING BACK TO MY MOTHER AND UNDERSTANDING MORE NOW!
      STUNNING THAT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE WORDS BUT I WOULD NOT THINK OF MYSELF LIKE THAT AT ALL!
      I WILL ACCEPT YOUR BIG COMPLIMENT HOWEVER!!
      THANK YOU FOR BEING “MOVED ” ENOUGH TO COMMENT!NOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL GOOD!
      HUGS TO YOU!
      XXX

  • Gray
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:33 AM

    SO MUCH TO SAY! SO MUCH TO AGREE WITH!
    I do think that you are more negative when you are ill/not feeling well.
    You need a blasph… well it’s eyelid surgery. My mom had it done and it really helped her.
    I don’t have a sleep problem unless hubby is home and snoring. I sleep with a mask, earplugs and a mouth guard. It’s like I’m going into battle. I am almost deaf in one ear, so that helps.
    Well as you know, no one left to check in at my house. And since hubby is gone all the time, my little man Friday was essential. And I love on him all.day.long. He hit the jackpot with me!
    I Love that you had a Mercury station wagon! My family car dealership sold Lincolns and Mercurys – which I drove until we sold it.
    My arms are still not too bad. But if I am trying to look nice, I am not wearing a sleeveless top. And my legs have always been ugly, so it’s long dresses or skirts, pants or tights for me. What happened to adult women wearing hosiery? Not that I liked them, but I could never wear a shorter dress without hose in the winter with no sun on my legs. The veins are popping out everywhere! Thank god for tanning lotion. Thank god they are on the inside of my leg… ok – enough moaning. Thank you for that mental health break in my day. Don’t be surprised if you see a similar post on my blog – in the coming months. Good for the soul to let it out once in awhile. Carry on!

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 8:03 AM

      I MET A WOMAN IN FIRENZE A LONG TIME AGO……..FLORENCE, ITALY WHO’S GRANDFATHER INVENTED HOSIERY!
      WE WERE AT A HALLOWEEN AFFAIR AT A SWANKY RESTAURANT.I REMEMBER AS I HAD MY HAIR DONE!
      I HAVE HAD MY HAIR DONE THREE TIMES IN MY 62 YEARS OF LIVING.ONCE WAS THE WEDDING,ONCE WAS FOR THIS PARTY AND ONCE FOR A BIRTHDAY AND I DIDNOT LIKE IT!
      FUNNY THE THINGS YOU CAN RECALL WHEN NECESSARY!
      I WILL FIND OUT NEXT MONDAY WHAT I NEED IF ANYTHING!MOST LIKELY THEY WILL TELL ME IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD!
      THE VEINS ARE A FAMILY TRAIT FOR ME……..PAINFUL AS WELL AND HAVE DONE THE SHOTS THEY JUST COME BACK!
      XXX

  • Dinnerpartyguru
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:19 AM

    My Dear you have pegged it all!!

    Life is full of twists and turns for sure. I always say “The older we get the more like ourselves we get” our filters just seem to melt away don’t they? Thus grouchy neighbors. ?

    I am blessed with good friendly neighbors so I can sympathize with you so much. Thankfully my Randy is such a good egg that even though he is retired he doesn’t bother me one little bit!

    Hang in there dearest one – you are so lovely that no one would ever call you “over the hill” rather “on top of the hill”!

    Keep posting to help us all navigate the wonderful “later chapters” of our life book.

    Much love
    Amanda

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 19, 2022 at 7:56 AM

      THANK YOU AND WILL DO…………….
      AS THIS IS MY MAIN FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT AND STAYING IN TOUCH WITH THE OUTSIDE WORLD!
      XXX

  • Katie Clooney
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 7:04 AM

    Great post, Contessa. You know what I hate? PASSWORDS!!! You know what I hate more? Updates – Apple… leave my phone alone – it’s working fine. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest, Contessa. Now I can go on with my day.

    • Gray
      · Reply

      October 18, 2022 at 7:46 AM

      Amen. I have a book of them with dozens and dozens. And we are not supposed to use the same ones, so how can you remember whatever you thought up at the moment. Don’t even get me started. My new favorite one is Asspaina#1…….

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 18, 2022 at 10:45 AM

      I AGREE!!!!!!!!
      PASSWORDS ARE A PAIN IN THE BEHIND!
      I SHOULD HAVE ADDED THAT!
      THAT COULD BE A POST ALL ON ITS OWN!
      THANKS FOR CHIMING IN!
      XXX

  • Maryellen
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 6:44 AM

    Oh, dear, yes, I agree. I have regular discussions in my head about whether I should cover up my sagging arms, veiny legs, you name it, or wear what I am comfortable in and let it all hang out, so to speak. I don’t know, growing up when I did, with the mother I had, the way we dressed was for others too not just for ourselves and there were certain proprieties to follow. I know the young have abandoned these and seem so free, yet they are still in my head. I do wish fervently that my mother, really both parents, were still alive so I could talk with them about the aging process. I am my mother’s oldest daughter and I cared for her in the weeks when she was dying. At one point she said to me, ‘One day Elena [my daughter] will do this for you.’ Oh my goodness, how I wish she were here and well I could talk with her about this aging process and, yes, even the dying process so that I will be ready for that in some hopefully distant future. I consider myself blessed in that my children respond to my texts maybe 75% of the time and they call me fairly religiously on Sunday evenings. It took some adjusting to that being all there is, but I remember how busy my life seemed when I was young. Plus, I visit each of them maybe twice per year for a long weekend, Get ready, kiddos, here comes mum! I miss them fiercely; I wish they lived next door, but onward we go.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 18, 2022 at 10:41 AM

      IT IS HARD TO LET GO………AND NOT VOICE YOUR OPINION!
      BUT IT IS WHAT IT IS…………..AND OFF THEY GO AND NOW ITS OUR TIME TO LIVE QUIETLY WITHIN THE WALLS THAT WE CALLED A FAMILY HOME.
      IT IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST TRANSITION WE AS PARENTS WILL MAKE.I FEEL SOMEONE SHOULD WRITE A BOOK ON THAT!MAYBE ITS ALREADY OUT THERE.AGAIN MAY I POINT OUT NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT OR PREPS YOU!!!
      CARRY ON WE DO!
      XXX

  • Yakin Benk
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 6:35 AM

    ??I LOVE YOU!??I red what you write;”, truly and with your clear, golden heart !”
    Thank you for being like this. While i am reding your stories i have always tears in my eyes. Isn’t it a sign that you’re a real PERSON DEAR ELIZABETHH!?? **Neighbors…. They don’t know the WORLD turning by the nice people’s SOUL!?
    Take care write and SHARE ALL THOSE TRUE LIFE STORIES…??? Here there is a girl who listens to u…

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 18, 2022 at 10:30 AM

      IN A FAR OFF COUNTRY ACROSS THE ATLANTIC!THAT IS SO GOOD TO KNOW!!
      MY COMPUTER DOES NOT TAKE THE EMOGJI’S SO I THINK YOUR QUESTIONS MARKS ARE MEANT TO BE HEARTS?
      I WILL LEAVE AS IS AS I LOVE IT!
      JUST KNOW I CAN GO IN AND EDIT IF YOU EVER WANT ME TOO……….BUT NOT THE EMOGJI’S.

      MANY MANY THANKS…………..BIG HUG!
      XXX

  • Bonnie White
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 6:03 AM

    Yes to everything you said. Thanks for sharing so I don’t feel alone in this changing of life. I too have a chronic disease(lung) and generally don’t feel great all the time. We share the same disease I believe. I forget I don’t feel great and think this is what normal is. Writing it still shocks me! My best is not great. But I’m grateful for my sense of humor, my excitement to still decorate and love of beautiful things. My kids live their lives that I have grave reservations about but I keep my mouth shut as to not rock the boundaries.

    Thanks for sharing our similarities.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 18, 2022 at 10:25 AM

      I KNOW I FEEL SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN MY AGE!!!
      MAC IS WHAT WE HAVE OR BETTER AND MORE DIGNIFIED ITS CALLED LADY WINDERMERE!
      I TOO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR WHICH SOME DO NOT GET AND THAT AMAZES ME………..BUT AGAIN ITS A DIFFERENT WORLD IN WHICH WE LIVE.
      JUST KEEP ON BEING YOU AS SOMETHING WILL RUB OFF ONTO THOSE OFFSPRING!!!!!!!!
      ONE DAY…………MAYBE!!
      XXX

  • Rena
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 5:57 AM

    The main reason I never wanted to own my own home was neighbors. My family was terrorized by our neighbors for years when I was a kid and I believe it was what led to my father’s heart attack at 46. It was awful and we couldn’t sell the house because of them. No one wanted to live by them. We lived in a beautiful home that became a prison. The neighbors were rednecks, and alcoholics who lived to cause trouble (they had 3 sons) my father was a Baptist preacher and paramedic. I always blamed them for his death. My mother was only able to sell her home after their home burned down (which was later determined they set on fire themselves). I want to be able to move quickly if need be but I’ve been very lucky and have had some amazing neighbors. Now retiring husbands…

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      October 18, 2022 at 10:06 AM

      YOU NEED TO WRITE A BOOK!!!
      I AM SO SO SORRY……………YOU WERE DELT SOME SERIOUS STUFF GROWING UP!
      BIG HUG TRAVELING THROUGH THE STATES TO YOU!
      XXX

    • Lorna
      · Reply

      October 19, 2022 at 11:48 AM

      I can relate to a lot of what you said. Growing older is harder than I thought. I work with a bunch of 30 year olds and I feel like the office dinosaur. Some of these people were just kids when we got married.
      Instagram had become a real pain. No matter how hard I try to share nice photos they never do well. It seems like nobody sees them anymore. I’ve done two reels recently but I don’t enjoy doing them and have stopped interacting with accounts that have switched exclusively to Reels. They’re annoying after a while and I don’t have time for constant Reels.

      • LA CONTESSA
        · Reply

        Author
        October 20, 2022 at 8:55 AM

        I UNDERSTAND TOTALLY!
        I SENT YOU AN EMAIL TODAY THAT WAS IN MY NEWS BOX.
        YOU ARE NO DINOSAUR!YOU WILL BE HAPPY TO KNOW I THINK OF YOU AS A KID!!ALWAYS HAVE…………..ALWAYS WILL!
        XXX

  • Donna
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 5:44 AM

    OMG, I can totally relate to everything. Especially the wrinkles. – when I do yoga now, I realize that my downward-facing-dog has turned into a Shar Pei! I never expected this since I have worked-out continuously since I was very young.
    Neighbors… one of the best things about living/traveling in our motorhome for a few years was that we were never in one place for more than a few weeks, and if we didn’t like our neighbors we knew that either they’d leave any day, or we would! I really miss that.
    And I really enjoy seeing you in my inbox! Thank you for being here.

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      October 18, 2022 at 9:58 AM

      I THINK I HAVE A POST OF YOURS I NEED TO READ!I TRY AND NOT LOOK AT THE EMAIL ON THE WEEKEND AND BOY DOES THAT SLOW ME DOWN!LOVE THE “SHAR-PEI” IMAGE.
      ITS THE SHOCK OF HOW IT ALL HAPPENS OVER NIGHT FOR ME……………
      THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE BEING IN YOUR INBOX AS WELL!
      XXX

  • Jeanie Zorn
    · Reply

    October 18, 2022 at 5:09 AM

    OMG! I could sum up my comment with ‘ditto’. Yes to all of the above. Something new hurts every week, hair loss, loss of eyesight and hearing, weird neighbors, I spend my ‘travel money’ every month on drugs and special diets for my pets. My husband and I are constantly adjusting to being at home together. That takes effort and lots of biting my tongue. And What happened to entertaining at home? Ok, I’ll stop my rant.
    I enjoy your blog and your honesty so much. It’s so hard to find friends with such similar tastes and thoughts. I’m glad I have you and your followers. I feel ‘heard’ and understood. Thank you for the effort you put into this space. I know it must be a lot of work. Love, love, love when I see you in my inbox. I feel like I’m hearing from a dear friend who knows me well!
    Gratitude to you and best wishes!
    Jeanie

    • Nella Martina Miller
      · Reply

      October 18, 2022 at 5:42 AM

      Elizabeth, we are soul sisters in so many ways.. this post is so honest and true for me.. I could probably check every number.. it takes great courage and will power to power on in this stage of life..every facet of what we knew is no longer.. health, clothes, stamina, looks, body shape.. it can be so depressing.. but, I soldier on every day.. get up, get dressed and get going.. do what makes you happy and fulfilled, not what is expected.. give freely of your talents.. not just for compensation.. or number of followers.. my current rant… ???

      • LA CONTESSA
        · Reply

        Author
        October 18, 2022 at 10:16 AM

        I BELIEVE I WAS TRYING TO DESCRIBE THE SHOCK OF HOW IT HAPPENS OVER NIGHT TO OUR BODIES.I AM FINE WITH IT.AS IT IS WHAT IT IS………….
        ONE DAY YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN SKIN AND THEN THE NEXT YOU LOOK LIKE YOUR MOTHER OF GRANNY!!
        AS SOMEONE SAID, WE LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SAY WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?!!
        I THINK THOSE QUESTION MARKS ARE MEANT TO BE HEARTS COMING FROM YOU!
        I CAN GET RID OF THEM………..
        FOR SOME REASON MY SITE DOES NOT TAKE THE EMOGJI’S.
        BIG HUG………..YOU ARE DOING GREAT BY THE WAY!
        XXX

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      October 18, 2022 at 9:53 AM

      YOU MADE MY DAY JEANIE AS I HELD MY BREATH ON THIS POST!
      MORE WORDS THAN PHOTOS!!!
      IT IS A LOT OF WORK AND IF I TOLD YOU I STARTED THIS POST A MONTH AGO AND HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO COMPLETE AND EDIT YOU WOULD NEVER BELIEVE ME!!!
      I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR A GOOD RANT!
      I FEEL IT IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL!
      XXX

    • LA CONTESSA
      · Reply

      Author
      October 18, 2022 at 10:17 AM

      SEE MY COMMENT A COUPLE BELOW TO YOU!
      DUMB COMPUTERS!!!
      XXX

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Contessa & Banksy!

Contessa & Banksy

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La Contessa and Her musings and passions. What Inspires and Dazzles. Loving all things Worn and Rusted. AGE. The Grandeur of the Past. Bottom Line Contessa Chatter!!!

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A GROWING GIRL‼️ . . #granddaughters A GROWING GIRL‼️ . . #granddaughters
Back in Time. The GEESE.Petunia,Iris and Daisy! Th Back in Time. The GEESE.Petunia,Iris and Daisy! They were the BEST WATCH DOGS😁 . . #40somethingstyle #geeseaspets
My blog has my spread in the book but here are a f My blog has my spread in the book but here are a few more of the humans with their animals in ADVANCED PETS by Ari Cohen😘This was in a VANCOUVER NEWSPAPER ON SUNDAY! Sent to me by an Instagram follower♥️ Just tap on TheVintageContessa.blog link up top in my profile! Please SUBSCRIBE IF YOU ENJOY MY PHOTOS AND HUMOR🔥 To do that go to the HOME PAGE ON THE BLOG.Look for three lines upper right corner. . . #advancedpets #advancedstyle
Blog Post is up on that book I’m in with furry & Blog Post is up on that book I’m in with furry & feathered friends!This is my buddy @penelopebianchi who is as NUTTY as me🩷We found each other through BLOGGING YEARS AGO and come to find out she was my AUNTS NEIGHBOR🩷 They shared @oprah IN BETWEEN😁😁😁‼️In fact when OPRAH moved in she sent them both a Turkey for THANKS GIVING🩷She has been a wonderful neighbor ever since🩷 A D V A N C E D P E T S can be found in any book store!It would make a GREAT GIFT for any animal LOVER🩷 Link up top for BLOG POST IN BIO⬆️ TheVintageContessa.blog . . #advancedpets #advancedstyle #penelopebianchi #mydearfriend
Advanced PETS THE BOOK IS OUT♥️ Can you find M Advanced PETS THE BOOK IS OUT♥️ Can you find ME⁉️ Which animal is my favorite⁉️ . . #advancedpets #advancedstyle #advancedolderandwiser
Monday MORNING PAPER CRUNCH! Catalogs,Bills,and Th Monday MORNING PAPER CRUNCH! Catalogs,Bills,and Thank-You’s to write! Tigre overseas it ALL🐾🐾🐾
Autumn has arrived in my yard. It’s so short her Autumn has arrived in my yard. It’s so short here in Northern California but it’s does happen!Old cement wheel barrel holds a hydrangea. #gardening #fallinthegarden
Another page from the book ADVANCED PETS! Ruby my Another page from the book ADVANCED PETS! Ruby my chicken who just arrived in my driveway one day and WINSTON who was my dog all the way🩷He never lost sight of me….EVER🐾🐾🐾 A book by Ari Seth Cohen of ADVANCED STYLE FAME🥰🥰 This is his 4th PUBLISHED BOOK‼️ I have THREE PAGES‼️ May be found on AMAZON OR YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD BOOK SHOP🎉🎉 . . #advancedpets #advancedstyle
Pleased as PUNCH‼️ A new book is OUT and I hav Pleased as PUNCH‼️ A new book is OUT and I have THREE PAGES IN IT🥰 Beautiful photos of older people with their PETS🥰🐾The name of the book is called ADVANCED PETS by ARI SETH COHEN.Ari is in NEW YORK TONIGHT FOR A BOOK SIGNING PLEASE SEE @advancedstyle FOR FURTHER INFORMATION!Next he hits DENVER,SEATTLE AND LOS ANGELES‼️Many of the folks in the book will BE IN ATTENDANCE🥰 . . #advancedstyle #arisethcohen #60andabove
One of these two turns 37 TODAY🎉 Guess which ON One of these two turns 37 TODAY🎉 Guess which ONE‼️ Happy BIRTHDAY @kristopher.kirkpatrick🎊 It’s all gone by in a HEART BEAT♥️ May your day be as AWESOME as you🥰 Love Mom & Papa,Betty,Theodore and TIGRE🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾 . . #nov12th # birthdayboy #firstbornson
Photo from the depths of the archives! Me and SIR Photo from the depths of the archives! Me and SIR WINSTON in the garden. In a chair that came out of the house. Winston was a Cardigan Corgi who loved everyone🥰 . . #lifeinagarden #cardigancorgi #over40style
The carpet The dress The ORANGE BOOTS MADE A PHOTO The carpet The dress The ORANGE BOOTS MADE A PHOTO🧡 . . #colorpalette #colorfulhome
Too much color? It was a chilly night in CALIFORNI Too much color? It was a chilly night in CALIFORNIA! Outfit by @brynwalker Boots by @ugg Necklace by @catiques Any other Questions? . . #over50 #styleover60blogger #mididress
I did NOT RUN OUT OF CANDY✅ We had a few trick o I did NOT RUN OUT OF CANDY✅ We had a few trick or treaters ✅ And I put a CAFTAN ON WITH A WITCH HAT. It was good old-fashion FUN😁🎃😁 . . #halloween #oct31
October 31 st …….HELLO TRICK OR TREATERS🎃 . October 31 st …….HELLO TRICK OR TREATERS🎃 . . #ʜᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ2024 #trickortreating #witchcaftandwizardry
Happy HALLOWEEN!! 🧡🤣🧡 Happy HALLOWEEN!! 🧡🤣🧡
What We ate for dinner last night😍Eggplant Parm What We ate for dinner last night😍Eggplant Parmigiana. 2 eggplants 1 1/2 mozzarella balls Basil Tomato Sauce Parmesan cheese. Slice eggplant length way.Salt, the pieces, and let them drain in a colander for a couple hours. Wipe off water. Fry in olive oil over low to medium flame each side until golden brown.This takes some time, but you really can’t walk away from it. Next assemble your eggplant slices put some tomato sauce on the bottom of the pan then eggplants then tomato sauce again add some torn mozzarella and grated Parmesan cheese. Continue the process until all your eggplant slices are gone, bake 325 oven for about 45 minutes! Bon appétit🥰 . . #eggplantrecipes #eggplantparmigiana #dinnerisserved
Halloween preview in the works! Hope we get a few Halloween preview in the works! Hope we get a few TRICK or TREATERS! Husband with my HAT ON🧡🖤🧡 . . #halloweenpreview #oct31st #halloweenprep
Nov.12 th ADVANCED STYLE BOOK RELEASE! We are in t Nov.12 th ADVANCED STYLE BOOK RELEASE! We are in the BOOK♥️ The Pig and I. Also one of my chickens and I♥️ Banksy and RUBY JOIN OTHER PET’s IN ARI SETH COHN’s newest creation. A D V A N C E D P E T S ‼️ Pre - order NOW on AMAZON OR HEAD TO YOUR FAVORITE BOOKSTORE🎈🎈 . . #advancedstyle #advancedpets #over60style #over60andfabulous #over60women
Caturday with TIGRE! Caturday with TIGRE!
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