DO YOU PICK OUT YOUR OUTFIT OR DO YOU FIND YOUR LOCATION SHOOT FIRST ON INSTAGRAM?
YOUR MAGIC IN MATCHING YOUR LOCATION IS REMARKABLE!
(Lucy Daisy, my beloved orphaned bovine)
Well, thank you for those kind words, Elizabeth. I do have somewhat of a process. I prefer to show mostly thrifted garments, so I always choose the outfit first since it is difficult to shop for something specific in a thrift store. (I have found that the key to successful thrifting is to never go in looking for a particular style or color.) Hence, I think it is easier to do it this way, as there are many more locations to choose from than specific items in thrift stores.
I style the outfit at home, pose, and take a quick photo in a mirror so I won’t forget which accessories I chose. I look at the photo numerous times over the next few days and let my right brain do the work of ENVISIONING a site. I try to mentally “see” it in an environment that would enhance the outfit.
The trick in coming up with an effective location is to make the creative process strictly VISUAL – I don’t use words or descriptors. I use pictures. Once I start using words, I’ve then switched to left brain processing, and that is not always helpful in creative pursuits since our left brain doesn’t deal in visions. It uses analytical tools and logic, focusing on details and parts – in other words, “THE TREES.”
On the other hand, our right brain uses visual means to make decisions, e.g., shapes, forms, and “big picture” tools – “THE FOREST.” When choosing a site, you want to see the whole picture first, then when you scout out and finally arrive at your location, you can rearrange small details as needed.
DO YOU ENJOY INSTAGRAM? CAN YOU TELL US WHY?
I do, and two factors come to mind as to why. First, I enjoy the creative process immensely, particularly writing the captions. Although I am aware that Instagram is primarily a visual medium, I tend to focus strongly on the message in the caption. I want that message to be information laden, inspirational, or thought-provoking regarding the aging process, life itself, or simply human nature. Instagram provides me the opportunity to do that by applying what I have learned in 76 years of life and in my career.
Although I do not present myself as such on Instagram, professionally I am a clinical psychologist, and I have also worked as an adjunct university professor for many years. Although “Dr. Wise” would have been an impressive Instagram handle, from the beginning I knew that I didn’t want the focus to be on my career – but rather on the fact that I am simply a typical older woman who is musing about life and moving forward through the aging process just like everyone else. However, I do like to weave in information and insights that I have garnered over my many years of practice and teaching psychology.
The second reason I enjoy Instagram is the marvelous opportunity to interact with others across the globe. There is potentially great benefit and comfort in connecting with folks who have similar concerns and interests – even if it is online. The aging process would be a lot more difficult if we were isolated from a supportive and encouraging community like that which Instagram can offer. Additionally, it is a pure delight to share fashion photos from different eras (my favorites are the 1920s, 30s, and 50s) with women who also love those styles.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN ENJOYING THIS SOCIAL MEDIA SITE?
As my first experience with any social media, I started posting on Instagram in July of 2020, after a suggestion from my son, a physician, who was aware of how much I missed my work and my teaching during the lockdown.
Instagram did indeed provide me with an outlet during that time and, although the world is not as isolated now as it was during the pandemic, I continue to enjoy posting and connecting to the broader community. I have no intention of abandoning this rewarding pursuit in the near future – that is, unless thrift shops and bargain stores run out of clothes for me to recycle or purchase inexpensively. At that point, I may need to find a new project!
YOU HAVE AN EASE AND SIMPLICITY OF PUTTING TOGETHER AN OUTFIT FROM HEAD TO TOE.WAS THAT LEARNED OR WERE YOU BORN WITH THAT INATE GIFT?
I do appreciate those kind words, Elizabeth. My mother was my first role model in this regard. She had a difficult and challenging life after she became responsible for her family while she was still in high school due to her mother losing her eyesight. Additional burdens were added after she married a few years later only to lose my father in a military aircraft accident. (I was just 3 months old at the time, with a sister who was 3.)
Despite all this, my mother always took pride in her appearance and demonstrated that a woman does not need a lot of money, time, or special training to dress and carry herself attractively. She taught my sister and me how to shop for bargains and how to sew our own clothes.
By age 14, I was making all my clothes and would spend hours looking through pattern books in fabric stores. This was my first experience viewing fashion photography in a magazine-like format. I was fascinated by the fact that a young girl like me could express herself and demonstrate individuality by making her own clothes. I also made simple belts, beret hats, and scarves.
I bought my first fashion hat at age 14 – a wide-brim peach halo hat that I found in a bargain bin. This began a life-long love for hats. I’ve always found that a hat finishes off an outfit like nothing else. Perhaps more importantly, however, I discovered early in life that hats draw attention to faces – and FACIAL EXPRESSION AND EYES ARE WHERE HUMAN CONNECTION OCCURS. (This is why I never wear sunglasses in photos.) My understanding of human interaction and psychology started here.
TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORK WITH THE COWS AND A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOURSELF!
I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED A PET COW BUT DO NOT SEE THAT HAPPENING NOW IN MY MID SIXTIES.
Well, first I’ll say that it is never too late to bond with a cow, Elizabeth, so don’t give up yet! As to how I became involved with cows and horses, it was through an old-fashioned cowboy I serendipitously met in 1999 when I was working as the mental health director in a prison in Colorado. Many prisons out west have vocational programs wherein incarcerated individuals learn to train horses. I studied horse training under this marvelous cowboy/trainer for several years before learning about cows.
By 2002, after working in private practice and serving in federal and state prison positions, I was looking for a different approach to help people with mental health challenges who didn’t necessarily respond well to traditional office-based psychotherapy, often referred to as “talk therapy.”
I wanted to do experiential, or “hands-on” work, wherein the clients are actually “experiencing” their problems in real time, not just talking about those problems in an office. I thought the best way to do this might be with animals – specifically animals of prey.
This is where my work with the cowboy/horse trainer came in. Here’s an example of how this therapeutic approach works: Rather than describing a difficulty with trust or impatience while sitting in an office, an individual would actually experience it by attempting to bond with an untrained cow or horse, or by trying to teach the animal to follow a command.
It takes a lot of effort to gain the trust of untrained animals of prey and to also learn to trust them. In this type of work a psychologist facilitates the human-animal interaction and then conducts a “debriefing” in which the lessons learned in the hands-on experience with the animals are applied to the “real life” human situation. It’s a very powerful form of therapy.
To tie up the ends of this story, after spending several years studying animal behavior and learning specifically how to handle and train horses, I took on the more challenging task of working with cows. This opportunity came about when I was tasked with bottle feeding an orphaned calf I named Lucy Daisy. The rest is history, as they say. I have posted a few photos of Lucy with me on Instagram over the past few years, but she doesn’t seem interested in having her own account yet. (If you are personally interested, Elizabeth, I tell her story in a short video here: 3rd video down at: https://eyeofahorse.com/cows.html).
YOU LIVED IN THE HAWAIIAN ISLANDS IN THE 1980’S.
WHAT TOOK YOU THERE AND HOW DID YOU DRESS IN THOSE DAYS?
CAN YOU SHARE A PHOTO OR THREE?
WHAT DID YOU PICK UP FROM THE HAWAIIAN WOMEN?
My husband’s career took us to Hawaii – and to other locations which offered a variety of marvelous personal opportunities for me, including performing professional pantomime, fashion modeling, learning to draft sewing patterns, owning a modeling/finishing school, various athletic pursuits (racquetball tournaments, weight-lifting contests, mini-triathlons), scuba diving, and raising two wonderful boys (who went to 13 different schools before graduating from high school).
My husband’s career also provided me with ample opportunities to “dress up” for formal events. We moved to Hawaii from Washington D.C., where I was accustomed to wearing little black dresses or classic formal gowns for the required special events, however, I quickly learned that the Hawaiian social scene was very different.
Many women wore beautiful loose-flowing palazzo pant suits in gorgeous colorful silk prints. (As a side note, our next move was to Japan, where I continued to wear some of my Hawaiian evening wear much to the surprise of many women there who were not used to seeing palazzo pants at formal events in the early 1980s.)
While in Hawaii, I acquired a great appreciation of nature, as it is woven into so many aspects of life there. I took up jogging, hiked in the beautiful backwoods, gained an appreciation for motorcycle riding on back roads, learned Hawaiian dancing, and I came to love haku leis which are basically a crown of live flowers made to be worn in women’s hair. For a hat lover like me, I adored the idea from day one.
(Mosey, a marvelous friend who loves to be brushed and hugged)
AS A WOMAN IN YOUR 70’S CAN YOU TELL US WHICH DECADE WAS YOUR FAVORITE AND WHY?
I would have to begin by saying that, for me, every decade has been filled with both positive and negative aspects, which is, of course, true for many folks. However, my thoughts about “favorite decades” are highly influenced by the fact that we moved around so much. Because of this, when I think of my past, I categorize it more by different locations and how I occupied myself at each one, rather than by different decades. So maybe this isn’t the best question for me, but I’ll give it a try.
In doing a quick review, I can honestly say that I did love my 60s, perhaps because we were living in one place for that entire decade which allowed me to really establish myself. But there is also another important factor: Somewhere in the middle of that decade I suddenly realized that I was already past the age when many women begin concerning themselves with aging.
The fact that I was getting older never really crossed my mind in my 40s, 50s, or 60s, as I was too busy in graduate school and establishing my psychology practices. Hence, by the time the idea of aging came to my mind in my late 60s, I guess I figured that I was safely past the normal “worrying” stage and would, therefore, never need to concern myself about the issue at all. I’m sure that this enlightenment added to my enjoyment of that wonderful decade.
When I entered my 70s, however, I knew then that I was certainly considered an “older” woman by our society’s standards, regardless of what I was personally feeling about myself. I know this has negatively affected me, as I am now much more aware of signs of ageism in our culture. Also, I am beginning to experience some physical “complaints,” such as a bit of morning stiffness, a little less flexibility, and thinning silver hair (though I love the color). I have also developed a benign tremor in my hands, which annoys me tremendously.
Overall, however, I am still blessed with good health, and I know that I am fortunate compared to many others my age. I exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet. I enjoy resistance training, Pilates, swimming laps, and a bit of easy jogging. My favorite exercise is working out on the speed bag (which I also taught to incarcerated females), although I’ve been sidelined recently with a shoulder impingement – another one of those physical “complaints” that come with age.
In my 70s I am learning that aging comes with both benefits and impediments, and it’s best to embrace both. Even with the wrinkles, crepey skin, and some physical complaints, I usually manage to focus on the bright side of this decade, which includes more discretionary time, easier decision-making regarding doing whatever I want, less stress, and fewer concerns about what others think of me.
And, finally, although this may be a sad commentary on our culture, I’d like to add this: By the time you hit your late 70s, our society doesn’t really expect much from you. Therefore, sometimes folks are pleasantly surprised when they discover that many of us septuagenarians can still do a lot of things that some younger folks can’t seem to master. And I do enjoy it when that happens. This is an especially sweet part of my 70s!
DOES GETTING DRESSED FOR THE DAY IMPROVE YOUR MOOD?
ANY EXAMPLES COME TO MIND?
Personally, and as a psychologist, I can attest to the fact that this is true. Many treatment plans for clinical depression, for example, include suggestions to not only take care of basic hygiene every day, but also to make efforts to style your hair and dress attractively even if you are at home by yourself.
Both the image we carry of ourselves – and the one we see staring back at us from the mirror – are important and can either positively or negatively impact our state of mind. The mind and body are connected and, consequently, one can affect the other. So, why wouldn’t we use this powerful mind-body connection to our advantage?
Also, many women have experienced the mood-elevation that comes when a stranger in a supermarket comments about their outfit. It might be helpful for us to think about it this way: By getting dressed for the day, I know that I put myself in a better position to perhaps receive such a lovely gesture of kindness.
For me, I personally enjoy complimenting any woman, even a stranger, who looks like she took a bit of effort to dress or fix her hair in an attractive way. It’s wonderful to see her face brighten. I have come to the conclusion that it feels just as good to be a giver as a receiver of a simple little compliment, thus making it a win-win situation for both parties.
Taking pride in your presentation, which also includes being aware of your posture and facial expressions, is the healthiest way to interact with the rest of the world and to improve your own mood if you are feeling down.
ANY ADVISE FOR WOMEN WHO ARE STARTING ON A NEW CHAPTER IN THEIR LIFE?
COULD BE AN EMPTY NESTER OR DOWN SIZING OR BECOMING A WIDOW?
Transitions are always challenging, as it is natural for our psyches to remind us of what we are losing as we leave the previous chapter. Because of a concept known as “state-dependent memory,” a current loss always cues up other losses we have experienced in the past, even all the way back to childhood. That’s why taking a future-oriented perspective is helpful, rather than remaining stuck in what “used to be.”
I have experienced this personally, as in one span of 26 years my family moved more than 13 times due to my husband’s career. I was never able to carry over whatever personal projects I had built (e.g., modeling work, a performing pantomime troop, working on getting my pilot’s license, owning a modeling/finishing school in Washington D.C., etc.). I always lost whatever I had established at our previous location, only to begin a different adventure when we landed in our new home.
Though it took a number of years to achieve, I finally found that the best approach to the “new chapter” situation is to embrace this perspective and belief: It is difficult to connect the steppingstones in your life going forward. It is only upon looking back that you will realize how situations you encountered, losses you experienced, and steps you took in response led you to new and wonderful adventures that you may never have imagined without that last chapter ending.
If I had not gone to Colorado, I would not have met the folks who ushered me into the world of horses and cows and led me to a glorious 18 years of animal-assisted psychotherapy and teaching. I would have never dreamed of being able to start such an adventure without the move to Colorado, which effectively ended my partnership office-based psychotherapy practice. Something ends and something new begins.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE WORDS IS JOY!
WHAT BRINGS YOU THE MOST JOY?
From three diverse areas in my life – my relationships with both family of origin and family of creation, my daily activities, and my experience as a clinical psychologist – I can identify a common thread which provides me with a rich source of joy. I find myself immensely pleased when I come upon an opportunity, or create one myself, wherein I can validate another human being. This brings me joy.
For example, I find it meaningful – and finding meaning brings joy – in reporting work well done to someone’s supervisor or manager. Passing compliments and appreciation up the line is another win-win situation in life. Reinforcing noteworthy behavior or excellent service bodes more of the same. I like to make personal calls to store management when I see staff or employees doing a good job, and it seems to brighten everyone’s day, including mine.
Also, I have discovered in my 76 years that many individuals carry hidden emotional pain, such that a kind word, a little acknowledgment about something they did or said, or even a compliment on their appearance can make a big difference in their day. You never know the impact a simple validation may have on a fellow human being. It takes so little effort to be kind. And there is joy in knowing that we all have the capacity to touch someone else in this way.
(Black hat I’ve had for 43 years – two eras: then and now)
Physical fitness – big part of my life for past 40 years – swim laps
OR
yoga “boat pose”
or
Pilates plank
I think THIS LADY is INCREDIBLE and I hope you enjoyed her as much as I do!
FOLLOW her on INSTAGRAM
CLICK ON GOLD LETTERS BELOW WISE.WOMAN.AGING
IF ONLY TO SEE HOW SHE PICKS OUT HER BACKDROPS
TO MATCH WHAT SHE IS WEARING MOSTLY WHICH COME FROM THRIFT SHOPS!
SHE ALSO HAS A YOU TUBE CHANNEL WHICH IF YOU CLICK ON THE ONLY LINK BESIDES HER INSTAGRAM IN THE POST IT WILL TAKE YOU THERE.TO FIND THAT LINK GO BACK UP TO HER BRUSHING THE COW!
LAST PARAGRAPH WOULD BE HI- LIGHTED FOR YOU AND SAYS…… EYE OF A HORSE.COM/COWS
ON ANOTHER NOTE THANK YOU FOR ALL THE GET WELL CARDS AND FLOWERS……..
I HAD A LOVELY CUTE AND FUN BOUQUET COME IN WITH JUST A NAME KATHERINE THIS WEEK?
I know about SIX Katherines and no one has CLAIMED to be the sender……….
if it was YOU Will you be so kind as to TELL ME!
AS I TRIED TO CALL THE FLORIST WHO DELIVERED AND I WILL SAVE THAT DEAD END STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY AS AFTER THREE TIMES OF SAYING MY NAME AND THEIR ORDER NUMBER I WAS TOLD THAT ORDER NUMBER DIDNOT EXSIST!
I would LOVE TO SEND YOU KATHERINE A THANK YOU CARD BY SNAIL MAIL!
AND DO YOU KNOW I STARTED MY GARDEN WITH JUST YELLOW & WHITE FLOWERS?
XXX
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