I HAVE A WAY TO CLEAN YOUR CLOSET!

GET A PUPPY!

SHE LOVES TO BITE MY CLOTHING AND HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE!

SHE HAS SHREDDED THREE OUTFITS; WELL ONE NIGHTGOWN IN 48 hours!

MY BIRDIE RAFFIA SHOES ARE NOT FOR THIS WORLD MUCH LONGER EITHER!

OH BUT SHE IS SO CUTE YOU ARE PROBABLY THINKING!

I REALLY DO NOT HAVE THE ENERGY FOR THIS……………and I DO BELIEVE IT GOES ON FOR A YEAR!

IF I THINK I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM I BETTER START 5 minutes prior!

  WHY?

BECAUSE Miss Betty LATCHES ON TO MY SLIPPERS OR SHOES AND HOLDS ON……..

I HAVE AN ADDITIONAL WEIGHT TO DEAL WITH PLUS A FALLING HAZARD can happen at any moment!

  NOT THAT FUN and ALWAYS first thing in THE MORNING!

THEODORE IS NO LONGER SAFE ON THE FURNITURE!

 SHOULD HAVE SIGNS MADE!

BEWARE OF BETTY BITES!

THE AMAZING THING IS BETTY JUMPED UP AS THEODORE WAS TRYING TO TAKE SUN………..

I YELLED SIT BETTY AND SHE SAT ON FIRST BARK OUT OF MY MOUTH!

 SHE DOES UNDERSTAND THAT COMMAND!

 It was too bright for THEODORE as he had just come in from HUNTING ALL NIGHT!

HE IS A NIGHT OWL!

 He went back outside to BREATH after eating only to be found from BITING BETTY!

  GO FIGURE!

Going through old photo albums I found this!We were living in my in laws house outside of FLORENCE!This was about 1992.

MY ITALIAN and I were invited to a dinner at a restaurant on the ARNO RIVER.

IT WAS A BIG DEAL!

THE SUIT AND THE SHOES WERE HAND ME DOWNS FROM MY COUSIN!

I think the suit was a VALENTINO!

THE REAL DEAL!

THE SHOES I STILL HAVE!

I DO REMEMBER I HAD MY HAIR DONE!

I TOO RECALL IT WAS NOT WHAT I HAD ENVISIONED…………….but there was NO TIME to change it!

That night and I cannot recall who gave the party but the person across from me her FATHER or GRANDFATHER had INVENTED NYLONS for the legs!I was SO HAPPY I WAS WEARING A PAIR!

Nicholas is FEATURING some of the FIRST FIRE RETARDANT PJ’s for KIDS!

THE FABRIC WAS GOD AWFUL!

DO HOPE THAT HAS IMPROVED IN THE LAST 32 years!

 

I BELIEVE I SHARED THIS WITH YOU ON MY LAST BLOG POST!

NOW I AM POPPING UP ON NEWSFEEDS!

IT was early one morning when that ITALIAN TEXTED ME!

HE was in the BATHROOM where he READS EMAILS ETC………does your significant other do that?

He had been reading his AOL NEWS and UP I SPRANG ON HIS SIDEBAR where the ADS SCROLL………..!!!

He snapped a photo to show me!

AS it would be GONE BY THE TIME HE EXITS LATER!

Following week I get a letter from a DEAR READER who reads the BLOG HERE!

ALL THE WAY FROM FLORIDA!

IT said, “I had to send you the screen shot of my computer at work – I had just gone to the cosmetic company’s website to pursue their products and then clicked on an article I wanted to read on CNN and viola ~ YOU APPEARED!!It was momentarily shocking and as you can see, a large image.This is “paid content” so I hope you are receiving a commission!!You look like a professional model in these photos (and all your photos!).

TODAY I had a TEXT from a well known BLOGGER who I might ADD is ON BREAK for the summer.

SHE IS CALLED PREPPY EMPTY NESTER who said, “JUST SAW YOUR AD!!!YOU GO GIRL!!!”XX

SO THAT MAKES THREE SIGHTINGS!

FROM FLORIDA TO TEXAS TO CALIFORNIA!

ANYONE else have a sighting? Do email me as it makes my DAY!

AT iolacontessa@gmail.com

Which brings me to the cards have been mailed if you subscribed recently when I posted on Instagram that I would send you an ADVANCED STYLE card shot by ARI SETH COHEN! Only half of you responded either by DIRECT MESSAGE on INSTA or emailed with your SNAIL MAIL ADDRESS……………

I NEED THAT SNAIL MAIL ADDRESS SO IF YOU ARE NEW HERE SEND ME AN EMAIL OR LEAVE IN COMMENTS BELOW.

I AM HAPPY TO WRITE YOU A NOTE from BANKSY AND  ME!

BITING BETTY napping with me in our bed!

 SHE IS GROWING DAILY and last SUNDAY was at 23 pounds.When she arrived she was only 7 pounds.

I AM AFRAID to wear this FOR FEAR BITING BETTY WILL RUIN IT!

 I slipped it on while she was NAPPING!She takes MORE naps THAN ME!

 THE GOOD NEWS IS MY CORTISOL LEVELS ARE WITHIN REASON………..16.6 !

A NORMAL STANDARD is 8.0 ~ 25.0

SO, BASICALLY ANOTHER DEAD END with the HEALTH issues!

 DO not miss next weeks AGELESS STYLE POSTS as I will be interviewing Cindy Hattersley who’s IDEA it was.

WE have been featuring LADIES and a FEW MEN for the last FOUR YEARS!

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

 NOR CAN WE!

 SO, here is how you play the GAME!

Once you read my victim which will be Cindy Hattersley you then click over to her BLOG which I ALWAYS GIVE YOU THE LINK either with her name or click HERE!

Guess who she will be featuring?

 YOU GUESSED RIGHT!

 SEE YOU ALL NEXT THURSDAY!

    XXX

 PS. I AM NOT READY FOR MY CLOSE UP MISTER DE MILLE OPPS CINDY!

SO JUST BE AWARE!